annoyed

I knew that this would happen at some point. Everyone that has been in respiratory has told me that this time would come....

I don't like my classmates. Some, more than others, and there are only a few I can tolerate right now. I just have spent far too long sitting at the table with the kids, and listening to them talk. They could be talking about their shoe, and it wouldn't matter because I'd still be annoyed that I had to listen to them talk about their shoe.

Two in particular just are really getting to me. Both of them think that they are the worlds greatest/smartest/coolest/most important people to ever walk in to the realm of respiratory and I've just had enough. I just need a break from the constant facebook status updates, lame stories to make themselves look better, and an attitude that belongs in a pageant. I'm glad I'll get a break. I'm sure they are just annoyed with me, too, for whatever reasons they have. After this quarter is over I'll probably just spend some more time with other people in the class to give us all a little space.

Ok, venting is done.

Well, I'm out for Thanksgiving break. I'm really thankful for that :)

to a point..

I think I'm being picky for a reason. It's a defensive mechanism I've been utilizing to keep the enemy at bay. Sorry, I watched GI Jane again today. Enough with the military talk.

Anyway. What I'm really trying to say is that I'll be twenty five next week. Panicked? Perhaps a smudge. Lost? Very much so. Ok with that? Depends on the definition of O.K.

The holidays are upon us, which basically means I get sick (which is going on right now... I can feel the little viruses taking over my nasal epithelium), spend a whole lot of time sleeping, listening to angsty high school mixed c.ds, read a few books, and then come up for air sometime around Dec. 31st. But first, I get to take 3 more tests, attempt another critical care check off, and try to survive for another week or so. Am I tired? Absolutely.

I keep thinking to the day I'll graduate. It's going to be a nice day. I really need to take a long trip, and spend some time away from this little bubble I'm in. Having most of December off will really help get me through these last six months. I wish I could say I had a trip planned, but all my friends can't make up their minds for traveling. Hopefully I'll have a nice vacation planned for graduation.

Good night kids.

Lazy Sunday

Sunday should be funday. Instead, it involves me doing homework (or procrastinating on it), washing clothes, cleaning the apartment and trying to convince myself that going to the gym will be fun. I was hoping to go on a hike today, but the weather isn't really cooperating, and it's a bit chilly outside. Not that the cold would stop me, but that wind is shearing and I don't think my pup is quite ready to take on a whole mountain yet (considering that it's 12:30 and he's already passed out at my feet).

So instead of hiking, we are just going to hang out here today. I'm still balking on whether or not to go to the gym. I guess it really doesn't matter one way or another. I'm too busy during the week to work out, and I kind of hibernate in the winter unless I've got someone to go to the gym with. One of the many pitfalls of not being in a relationship anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living my own version of a Wes Anderson movie in my head. Things, places, people, events... all get some weird twist that makes sense only to me. Then I spend time thinking about how weird I really am, or what would people thing if they only knew what I was daydreaming about. It takes a certain kind of personality to understand it. I'm seriously not the traditional southern girl that wears a sundress to a UGA game, eats grits (they are disgusting), goes to church or believes in god, votes conservative, or joins a sorority.

In all reality, I would fit in a whole lot more if I did all of aforementioned things. I'm not sure when I lost my accent, or stopped pretending in Jesus, but I guess it was around 7th grade and I learned about evolution. I went crazy for science, and I still do. I just think a person can lead a just and good life without devoting a life to fictitious a god(s). To each their own, and I just tend to stay removed from that life.

Anyway, just thought I'd write down some thoughts today. Doesn't really pertain to anything interesting.

I'm ready for springtime, stat.

Whew

Ok, so I'd really love to tell all of you the really dramatic story that happened this week, but there would be consequences I would rather not deal with if someone important (not that you aren't important, but well...you get the idea) were to read this. Anyway, suffice to say that there are good teachers, mediocre teachers, and bad teachers. Maybe one day when this particular person is retired I can recount the story, because it has serious implications for students and teachers both. For now, I plead the fifth.

I am so tired. So, so so so very tired. Waking up at 4 a.m. on clinical days will do that to you. I did have a good day/week at school. I took a practice CRT exam and finished it in time, and passed the darned thing on my first try! Which is good, because I haven't even had classes on PFT, peds/neonates and home health yet. I did well on the written RRT as well, so that kicks a lot of butt! The clin sims are still a little trixy, but I am working on them each week. My goal is to be passing all of them by February so that I can just focus on clinicals from there out.

My little puppy is snoring on my feet. He is absolutely adorable. I heart him the most. :)

I just have to make it to thanksgiving break, one more week of class, and then I'll be out of school for basically a month. This is the stuff of dreams! I can't wait to sleep in, go for long drives with no destination in mind, stay up past 9 p.m., see some old friends, take my dog for some hikes, make caramel corn, tell ridiculous stories to my gullible cousins at the campfire, drink far too much wine and pretend for a moment that I have a life outside of school these days.

brrh

I guess it's almost winter. This little basement apartment of mine is going to need a few space heaters soon. And lots of blankets. And some hot chocolate with a movie. I don't like the cold, and I really don't like sleeping alone in the cold. Good thing I have a new fluffy foot warmer in my bed now :)


Just one of those Sundays where I attempt to do some laundry and cleaning. I might pick up Sill's review book in a little while. I know that if I don't keep reviewing constantly I'm going to lose a whole lot of concepts.

Wow. The new puppy really does NOT like this vacuum cleaner.

Can't sleep...

Ah, so as promised, my thoughts on the new receptors in the lungs...IT ROCKS. It really will open a new door to different bronchodialators and hopefully without all the side effects of the b2 agonists. Of course this will all take several years, but hey, then we get to look forward to a new drug for doctors to abuse!

I did email the research paper to both of my teachers and of course the physiologist was intrigued, and the clinician threw it down on a pile of papers that probably have about an inch of dust on them. Such is life. Whenever someone takes the time to say "hey, this article/research paper/blog post was really interesting and pertinent to our work," I listen, read, absorb, and then put it somewhere that I can reference it later. I've noticed in the hospital that doctors will listen to you waaaaay more if you can cite a specific research paper on the topic up for discussion. Of course, then you have to be prepared for him to throw out some other president that was proven in another journal. That hasn't happened to me yet, mostly because I'm still a little scared of doctors, but perhaps one day I'll put on my big girl pants and bust out a little knowledge.

I know this is kind of a subject change, but I'll just go ahead and throw it out there anyway. I'm going to be doing a little cleaning out of old posts on this blog that will violate hippa laws (I've been pretty good about this so far, but I still need to drudge back and see what I've written about so far), and other posts where the ranting could be grounds for not getting a job. No one likes a complainer. So, anyway, a few of the really cool posts so far might disappear. I know you are sitting at your computer and sobbing like a little baby over this, so buck up, there will be more to come!!

I haven't decided how/when/if I want to remain anon on this blog. I figure if enough people read the blog then the dots will be connected and the cat will be out of the bag. Wow. Do I speak in cliches or what sometimes.

Life in general is just kind of skimming along. I made a few really big changes recently, and one of them is gnawing on my foot right now. FLUFFY PUPPY!! (pictures coming later...)

Class is class, albeit a little bumpy these days. Just the normal drama that comes along with seeing the same people day in and day out. I think having the whole month of December off will do wonders for all of our fuses.

Hmm. Random post? I think so.

Goodnight kids