RT goodness

This is an interesting read: http://www.umm.edu/news/releases/taste_receptors.htm

The full paper can be found here: https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=12bf392481f4c0a8&mt=application/pdf&url=https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui%3D2%26ik%3Dbf4fc1a539%26view%3Datt%26th%3D12bf392481f4c0a8%26attid%3D0.1%26disp%3Dattd%26zw&sig=AHIEtbSkRMawftacYuYyZuGwQkjkcb9ayA

I hope the second link works. I'll be writing more on it later. For now, I need some sleep :)

Enjoy

Rx: Vino STAT

I'm going to go ahead and write this before I undergo some massive anxiety treatment with some fluid rounds.

I had to bite my tongue so hard today that I almost cut of circulation for most of the morning. LE SIGH. I'm a competent being. I know what I should be doing. I never ever think I know everything, and I really do strive to learn as much as I can when I'm at clinical.

Things are moving a long. I'm about half way through mechanical ventilation, and the pressure is about to start pouring down on us in this last push before xmas break. I'm keeping my head up and just making sure that I can stomach the final check off that is going to make me pee in my pants.

Well. Venting accomplished, and now to go find some nice corner of the couch with the wine and The Fountainhead.

Later gators

greatness

Some are born great, others achieve greatnesss and some have greatness thrust upon them.

What category do you fall in?

Mechanical ventilation is fun. Fun, in the sense that I see and do more things. I like critical adult care. I want to help a patient breathe. I am so grateful for the knowledge and opportunity that my teachers provide for me. Keeping that in mind helps me move forward every day. I do believe that a person can decide their own fate if they know what they want.

Every day I move closer to being ok with myself. I know what I enjoy, and day by day I will figure out what's best for myself. That doesn't involve my ex, even though sometimes I think it does.

Some women are born compliant, others achieve compliance, and some compliance thrust upon them.

Depends upon the decade you were born in.

noodle

I like noodling around the hospital. Yes, I made up the verb, noodle (not to be confused with the southern tradition of sicking your hand in a bank of a lake looking for catfish). It once was a noun in my book, but I've converted it. To noodle: to wander aimlessly, like a noodle would on a plate. Doubt that makes much sense to you kids, but oh well. I find noodling around the hospital to be interesting in two ways, 1. I learn the layout of the extra large hospital, and 2. I meet new people, and it always is fun to get lost. I guess that's three ways, but oh well. I enjoy running errands for my CI, because if I take a little extra time I can always blame it on getting lost.

I was at the hospital today, and I'm starting to really enjoy being at the hospital more than school these days. Though, I do get to "sleep in" tomorrow when I go to school, so that's slightly exciting. I can't believe that I consider 6am to be sleeping in. Man that's lame.

I think my brain is about to shut off in about 3 minutes. Time to sign off now. Later gators.

I want this for my birthday

Things I want for my birthday:

- Ben Folds tickets
- To not be turning 25
- A really excellent book I've never heard of
- Confidence in myself
- A job when I graduate

and...

------>

K thanks :)





Today was good. I thought it was going to be slow, but I got plenty of sleep last night and kept myself busy and entertained all day at clinical. Sarah and I basically roamed around the entire hospital and popped into some of the icu's for a ventilator audit. We also had some CF'ers, which was a good review of pulmonary hygiene.

After spending a few minutes in the neuro icu I realized that there are a lot of doctors that hang out there. I admit, I am somewhat scared of talking to doctors. I haven't spent enough time actually talking to any of them to dismiss any preconceived notions I've built up in my little head. I suppose that will most likely have to change soon. They are still human, right?

I really have no clue who is who in a hospital unless I look at the badge. Sad that you have to stare at some piece of plastic to figure out what sort of qualification a person has. Just my random thought.

Well. It's "late" and I have a long day ahead tomorrow. Good night and I hope that everyone has a stellar day tomorrow. I am going to be playing with some vents. I am actually looking forward to it :)

Some stuff

This is me looking out over Angel's Landing at Zion National park. It was absolutely beautiful. I really enjoyed my whole trip, and will be going back out west soon enough. Perhaps this spring for some Skiing in Colorado or Utah.

Trips aside, I'm now back into the grind of things. I have been back in class for about a week, and so far we've gone over five ventilators (MA-1, Emmerson, Bird 7, 900C (the devil), Bear 3), and things are starting to get sorted out in my head. I think I might be a bit ahead of some of my classmates, but that's only because I've been staying after class and working w/ the vents on my free time. I'm also taking hemodynamics, but it's mostly an independent study class.

Tomorrow I'll be back in the hospital for my second rotation at the same hospital I was at last quarter. This particular hospital has not one ICU... but like, ten million of them. It will be my first time that I'll be taking patients on ventilators. As well as actually having to talk to the doctors... hmmm. I guess we will see how that goes. It scares me because I know I'll need to know my shit before even opening my mouth. At least with the attendings and the fellows anyway. I've been warned to not listen to the residents, and always double check their orders. Makes sense.

The personal life seems to be getting more confusing. I keep trying to date guys, and I'm not able to let any of them close to me. Granted, none of them are really right for me. I suppose that has something to do with it, as well as the fact that I don't think I'm quite over the ex. It's not that I'm still in love with him, because I'm not. I think I'm just really afraid of letting someone that close to me, and getting hurt like I did. The day he broke up with me I felt like someone tied my feet up, kicked me in the stomach several times, dragged me behind a truck for several hours, and then left me in a heap in some damp, dark basement. So, yeah. That's why I can't get close to anyone.

I do feel like an ass for attempting to date these guys, knowing full and well that I just need more time. My match account runs out in a week or two, and I will not renew the membership. I think I need to spend a few more months by myself getting things sorted out on my own, and then we will see how I feel about it all. I don't think I'll completely rule out online dating, but I'm not going to go back to it for some time. And no more attempting to date guys long distance, that's a terrible idea.

Anyway. I'm going to go make some more coffee, study a bit, and finish cleaning out the apartment. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I just need to keep believing that, and working towards being stable on my own.