Sunday, December 19, 2010

Home

I took a very long nap today in the same bed that I slept in most of my life. I've been living back at my parents home for over six months now, but it still doesn't quite feel right. It's comfortable in the sense that I am somewhere that's familiar and warm, but it's been hard readjusting to the reality of living with my parents again. I am not used to having to tell someone where I am most of the time.
I'm glad I'm here for the holidays, and get to spend time with them, but I'm looking forward to being out on my own again. I know that I could save a lot of money if I would continue to live with them after graduation in May, but I just can't see myself being happy living in a basement for another year. I don't like spiders that much.

I'll be the first to admit when I make mistakes these days. Getting a puppy, and a very energetic one at that, during school was a mistake. He's absolutely wonderful and very sweet, but I can't say that I will be able to give him everything in the coming months. I'm considering putting him up for adoption, but I want to talk to my parents first and see what they think. It's ultimately up to me.

I met a boy. Don't need to go into the details of it, but it's a good fit for now. I'm trying to keep myself level headed about it, and not impose any sort of goals for the relationship. I'm just going to let it be, and enjoy it for now. Boooyaaaa!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 3

I am officially 3 days into my Christmas break, and I'm already bored out of my mind. I seriously didn't think it would happen so soon. I figured I had a good 60 hrs of DVRed material which would last about a week, but I got bored of that after taking the pup to the vet yesterday. I am almost to the point where studying actually sounds like a lot of fun. This is what I feared. I could spend a lot of time at the library reviewing my old tests and notes to help out w/ testing in the future. Plus, I could do it on my own schedule now without feeling over loaded from school/clinical hrs. Hmmm. That's a possibility...

Maybe I should spend some time volunteering at my moms clinic. That would probably help out me and them. I might shoot my brains out if I'm left at home again like this for longer than a few days.

I love the word snarky. I don't know why. It kind of sounds like sharky, and that's the term I use to describe my mood when shark week is on. Just one of those random thoughts that I think of when I'm left to my own devices.

Later gators

Sunday, December 5, 2010

!

Hello all. Good news. Critical care, mechanical ventilation and hemodynamics are DONE. Whew. That's a great feeling. What's even better is my instructor telling me that the focus from here on out is clinical and passing our boards. I did pretty decent on grades too, all A's with the exception of a B in mechanical ventilation (which I'll take, gratefully).

Everyone mentioned to me how difficult this quarter would be, but I can't say it's been anymore crazy than the ones before. It was daunting to have to check off on the 20 or so vents we have in the lab, but once you can manipulate the Servo 900C you are golden in the vent world. So, for all you RT students out there... just keep going. It's kind of a pain to learn some of the inner workings of ventilators, which in my mind is reserved for mechanical engineers, but it really will help you to pass your boards. Will you ever be sitting in the hospital and be asked whether or not this is a linearly driven piston vent, or pneumatically powered?...no (unless your preceptor is reaaaally evil). Should you know how to compare and contrast modes between several ventilators? yes. I guess each person has a different opinion of the ease of the material, and I liked getting ABGs, peak and plateaus, and then making changes based on that. I really did not enjoy looking at flow patterns. Everyone has different tastes.

So I basically have the whole month of December off. It is absolutely amazing... but I know I'll be bored half the time if I can't keep up some sort of schedule for the days. Laying around in pj's watching movies all day is fun for about... two days. Then I just feel really lazy. I just got a new membership to the Y, so I'll probably spend some time in the pool and on the treadmill trying to keep off that 5lbs I always gain around this time of year from hibernation. I really wish I enjoyed cold weather more, but it sucks and I'm not afraid to say that. Georgia cold is pure hell. It's not a dry cold like out west, but rather the miserable cold that buuuurns deep in your lungs. Icky.

As far as boys go... I have been going out on dates, but to no avail nothing has felt right. I guess I can't really expect much right now, especially when I'm still licking my wounds from this past June. I had been talking/seeing my ex in October, and by epic fail on my behalf, I made a huge mistake. I corrected it by telling him to never contact me again, but of course he ignores this and emails me on my craptastic birthday anyway. He certainly knows the exact worst time try and get back in touch. He tells me that he never wants to hurt me ever again, but just hearing from him drags me deeeeeep down into that dark basement in my mind. I don't get it, but I really think he just doesn't realize how selfish asking for my friendship really is. Anyway, all of this is a moot. It's over, and there's no use in harping on it anymore. I just wish he would really really leave me be. I'm considering changing my email/phone number if it doesn't change soon.

I'm reaaaally looking forward to this new year.

"It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe that maybe next year will be better than the last."