I'll go ahead and apologize for this post in advance. I mostly wrote this over the course of a month and kept self-editing the crap I wrote while sleep deprived. I'm still running on very minimal sleep and a recent change to night-shift for the new job (just keep reading) . I've been gone for a while, and it was mostly due to a self-imposed writer's block (sorry but not sorry). I tried to write several posts over the last two years but ended up instead diving deep into the comments that mainly came from Russians and have nothing to do with healthcare at all (SEO I guess?). I spent many days wondering if I should just delete the comments and move on, but now I'm fascinated (and by fascinated I mean obsessed and wasted far too much mental thought for an average adult on it). If you're reading this in Russia, and got redirected from a search engine, hello from America and thanks for Nov 2016 (sarcasm ). Also, I didn't really love the idea of coworkers/the hospital knowing I write a blog about my job. I've only had one person ever figure it out, and it kind of freaked me out a little. I've gone through varying stages of deleting the blog all together now, but for now I'll keep it full code.
Now that I've gotten my usual disclaimer out about not writing in forever etc etc- I'll try to sum up things in this paragraph. I probably should have lead with this, oh well. I got engaged, married, started working nicu against my better judgement, became severely over-worked (+ seven years cvicu) and underpaid for the experience/workload I was given on daily basis. This resulted in making me a bitter and jaded RT after all the years of trying to avoid that. Luckily, I finally realized I was worth WAY more around January 2018 and made a resolution to follow my goals that I had long forgotten about, applied for a transfer, and one monthish later I was working on a different campus and got a chance to join the ecmo specialist team (it's so crazy sexy cool). Plus I'm FINALLY going back to school in the fall to finish the bsrt. I'm still contemplating PA school, but as I've already spent many blog posts on the subject- I'll just say it's more of a pipe dream that would drown me in student debt. If anyone has a spare 90K they'd like to donate to me I would be applying to programs tomorrow...
It's almost been a year since I've left the last hospital I had worked for (7 years), and at first I was SO glad to get away from the daily draining workloads and my director that was allergic to accountability and progress. The real irony is that I accepted this new job right as that director decided to retire. Even if I had known that there would be a shake up with management I really doubt that would have changed my mind about applying for another job. I hit a breaking point HARD one week in the fall of '17. Maybe I'll try to summarize the story later if the PTSD ever subsides.
I thought about how to explain why I stayed for so long at the last hospital (masochism is still the top theory). But the biggest factor was that I had based too much of my self-esteem and worth from my job and I got comfortable with my corner. Seven years is a lot of time to build trust with all the attendings, nurses, mid-levels, fellow RTs, techs, etc. and that's pure bullion in my book. Other reasons were: our dept was very well respected and autonomous in all of the units (it's rare, I know), my coworkers in my department became a second family to me, I had complete knowledge of all of the best shortcut stairwells to go stealth mode, and the commute was only ten minutes in Atlanta (the rarest perk of that job I took for granted).
Despite all the good...
My husband really was the voice of reason for helping me to leave the last hospital. He reminded me that most people don't leave work wanting to lock themselves in the bathroom with some wine/music for 45 minutes due to the insane physical and mental olympics I'd have to deal with daily just to calm down so I could interact with my husband and dogs after work. I would also waste too much time crying over bullshit politics that I wanted nothing to do with but somehow would be stuck despite staying far away from enemy lines. I WANTED TO BE SWITZERLAND. So many problems I've seen working in a hospital could be improved if egos could be set aside and we all worked on mutual respect and communication. Oh, and I want a pony, too.
I have MAD respect for night-shifters now. No, I haven't figured out how to sleep during the day. Yes, I've been doing it almost a year without having a complete psychotic break. The only thing that I can say for certain is I cannot do the three night stretch. Two on, one off so I can catch up on sleep, and then I'll work the third so no one gets hurt.
I am happier with the new job when it comes down to assignments. I have really enjoyed getting to pee multiple times in a shift and occasionally I can read a book. Too be fair, it's really a different work flow when I have a 1:1 ecmo, so it kind of balances out the hectic days where I'm just in the RT staffing for icu. It's 2019 and my softcore resolution is to be grateful of the things I love about my job so I'll just stop right there. Also, please don't be a dick to anyone.
I'm about to pass out from working the last 4 nights, but I promise I'll put out another post soon enough with some funny stories (and maybe the story about my breaking point from fall '17) when my brain isn't about to turn off.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
One ticket to suckville
I'm beat down tonight. It was just one of those days. Really sad cases keep rolling in, and the cherry on top was a heavy assignment with new admits and transports. It's so hard for us healthcare workers to know what's really going on with a patient behind the "white curtain" of information (sugar coating prognoses), and then seeing a hopeful family leaning over their mom's bed because her heart is still beating. C'est la vie, non?
On a lighter note...
More observations from yours truly recently:
1. When you don't have a hemastat, that's when you need one.
2. OR admits in CVICU happen most frequently at shift change, and never spaced apart.
3. The cafeteria has surprisingly good chicken wings.
4. Healthcare workers are paid to be inadvertent sadomasochists.
5. It only takes one time to get run over on transport before you watch where your feet are in proximity to wheels rolling.
6. Don't like a particular RN? Guess who has the patient that's been coding all day??
7. Eat your veggies so you don't get a bowl obstruction so large that... well you know the rest.
8. Med students always ask to shadow me on the days that I am doing noooothing interesting.
And fin. I've got two more two more days until vaaaacation and I'm quite ecstatic!
Later gators.
On a lighter note...
More observations from yours truly recently:
1. When you don't have a hemastat, that's when you need one.
2. OR admits in CVICU happen most frequently at shift change, and never spaced apart.
3. The cafeteria has surprisingly good chicken wings.
4. Healthcare workers are paid to be inadvertent sadomasochists.
5. It only takes one time to get run over on transport before you watch where your feet are in proximity to wheels rolling.
6. Don't like a particular RN? Guess who has the patient that's been coding all day??
7. Eat your veggies so you don't get a bowl obstruction so large that... well you know the rest.
8. Med students always ask to shadow me on the days that I am doing noooothing interesting.
And fin. I've got two more two more days until vaaaacation and I'm quite ecstatic!
Later gators.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
RRT to PA revisited, again.
My brain is pretty much jammed to maximum capacity on getting into PA schools right now. I had the flu (yeah yeah, the flu shot worked soooo well this year...), and an over-abundance of free time that I was quarantined at home to commit to researching pa programs even more than I have before. Commenting on the flu: I haven't had it as an adult so I wasn't really sure what to expect other than suckville. I do think I had a relatively mild case (fever never went over 101 and resp symptoms were minimal. tamiflu started asap). Just a dry cough and really really tired all the time (think Mono-esque). I suppose I've been spending a good bit of time thinking about my life plans (with fiance too), and I really knew I had to get back to school soon. As it stands I've been in the field for about 4 years, and the bang-my-head-on-walls quota goes up every time I roll into work. I know PA school isn't really my only option, but it's the one I've consistently come back to time and time again. Life's too short to not at least try to achieve your goals, right?
So, here goes. I am giving myself the next 2ish years to get all the prereqs done (one Chem will need to be repeated bc I took it forever ago), and finish up my BsRT. The different programs I'm interested in are basically all within the south east, but Mercer and Emory being the top two because they will not require an uprooting of life for me. I'm trying to figure out which programs lean more on healthcare experience #'s rather than the fresh-out-of-BS-in-chem-miss-4.0gpa-22yr old (didn't get into med school) that lists "healthcare experience" as a medical assistant in her father's practice (really, this person isn't a joke) for 500 hrs. It's just gotten so competitive to apply for these programs that prior healthcare experience isn't the first thing that's considered anymore. So much so that GPA/GRE need to seriously be above the 3.5/300 range to even have a smidgen of a chance. I do get reasoning behind this shift to focusing on academics with all the intense didactic science that you get thrown at you the first year for diet med school. Applicants need to at least prove that they are capable of handling the a&ps and pharmacology. In some way, I think NPs might have an advantage in my head because they at LEAST had a yr of clinical + 1 yr bedside RN work BEDSIDE. The RT gods would strike me down with lightening bolts if I said that statement aloud. The real truth of that statement also leads back to nursing leaving the breathing/vents/breath sounds/abg interpretation to RT & MDs. Which, is to say that most of the nurse practitioners I've worked with in the last 4 years have been quite humble and asked for my opinions/suggestions on patient care bc they outsourced that shit to RT. But the flip side is I also work with a STELLAR PA that was a RT in past life, so my encounters with her are always fantastic. Eh, kind of conflicting opinions, but I do know that I have to adapt to the rah-rah-PAs-are the-best-go-team attitude before interviews.
Here are the other weird things that I have used my excellent detective skills to uncover:
1. If the interviewers ask you your favorite TV show, do not say Grey's Anatomy. The Wire is my number one choice, followed by Scrubs, GOT, and Always Sunny (the early years). My choices are affirmed by McNulty's bad-assness, JD and Turk bromance, Game of Thrones because, damn, I read ALL of those 1k page epic books, and Always Sunny due to Charlie Day and the night man commeth.
2. I swear, the PA students are basically all hot. Even on par with ENT resident hotness. Is this an unknown boost to applications?
3. Apparently the CASPA application is as long and as detailed as Game of Thrones novels, so I've got that going for me...
4. The personal statements I read so far are chalk full of cliches. I know, I use a fair amount on my blogs as well, but I'm pretty good at editing it out of final drafts.
5. Speaking of personal statements, I think I'm just going to outline how excellent my skills of survival would be during a zombie apocalypse. I do live in Atlanta, just sayin. I'm also always prepared for many emergencies. Maybe I'll think on this one again.
6. Do not rag on MDs for not spending much time with their patients. Because it might be and MD that asks you a question pertaining to why you chose PA over Med schoool... Don't be that guy.
7. Seven is closer to heaven. This doesn't have any real meaning for applying, I just always say that to myself when I park on the 7th floor in the deck, or work all day on 71 floor. And zone out for the list at 7.
8. Try to make your application well rounded, and not your body shape. Seriously. I still don't know why or how all the current students are so damn pretty.
9. You can always re-take classes and explain bad GPA, but you must REALLY outshine in every other category and show epic improvement recently in school grades. At least good enough to score an interview and impress them with all the prettiness you can produce.
10. Ten is the end.
Night night.
So, here goes. I am giving myself the next 2ish years to get all the prereqs done (one Chem will need to be repeated bc I took it forever ago), and finish up my BsRT. The different programs I'm interested in are basically all within the south east, but Mercer and Emory being the top two because they will not require an uprooting of life for me. I'm trying to figure out which programs lean more on healthcare experience #'s rather than the fresh-out-of-BS-in-chem-miss-4.0gpa-22yr old (didn't get into med school) that lists "healthcare experience" as a medical assistant in her father's practice (really, this person isn't a joke) for 500 hrs. It's just gotten so competitive to apply for these programs that prior healthcare experience isn't the first thing that's considered anymore. So much so that GPA/GRE need to seriously be above the 3.5/300 range to even have a smidgen of a chance. I do get reasoning behind this shift to focusing on academics with all the intense didactic science that you get thrown at you the first year for diet med school. Applicants need to at least prove that they are capable of handling the a&ps and pharmacology. In some way, I think NPs might have an advantage in my head because they at LEAST had a yr of clinical + 1 yr bedside RN work BEDSIDE. The RT gods would strike me down with lightening bolts if I said that statement aloud. The real truth of that statement also leads back to nursing leaving the breathing/vents/breath sounds/abg interpretation to RT & MDs. Which, is to say that most of the nurse practitioners I've worked with in the last 4 years have been quite humble and asked for my opinions/suggestions on patient care bc they outsourced that shit to RT. But the flip side is I also work with a STELLAR PA that was a RT in past life, so my encounters with her are always fantastic. Eh, kind of conflicting opinions, but I do know that I have to adapt to the rah-rah-PAs-are the-best-go-team attitude before interviews.
Here are the other weird things that I have used my excellent detective skills to uncover:
1. If the interviewers ask you your favorite TV show, do not say Grey's Anatomy. The Wire is my number one choice, followed by Scrubs, GOT, and Always Sunny (the early years). My choices are affirmed by McNulty's bad-assness, JD and Turk bromance, Game of Thrones because, damn, I read ALL of those 1k page epic books, and Always Sunny due to Charlie Day and the night man commeth.
2. I swear, the PA students are basically all hot. Even on par with ENT resident hotness. Is this an unknown boost to applications?
3. Apparently the CASPA application is as long and as detailed as Game of Thrones novels, so I've got that going for me...
4. The personal statements I read so far are chalk full of cliches. I know, I use a fair amount on my blogs as well, but I'm pretty good at editing it out of final drafts.
5. Speaking of personal statements, I think I'm just going to outline how excellent my skills of survival would be during a zombie apocalypse. I do live in Atlanta, just sayin. I'm also always prepared for many emergencies. Maybe I'll think on this one again.
6. Do not rag on MDs for not spending much time with their patients. Because it might be and MD that asks you a question pertaining to why you chose PA over Med schoool... Don't be that guy.
7. Seven is closer to heaven. This doesn't have any real meaning for applying, I just always say that to myself when I park on the 7th floor in the deck, or work all day on 71 floor. And zone out for the list at 7.
8. Try to make your application well rounded, and not your body shape. Seriously. I still don't know why or how all the current students are so damn pretty.
9. You can always re-take classes and explain bad GPA, but you must REALLY outshine in every other category and show epic improvement recently in school grades. At least good enough to score an interview and impress them with all the prettiness you can produce.
10. Ten is the end.
Night night.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
...It's been awhile
I know, I know. It's been ages. This is just that time of year where the whole hospital is on diversion and staffing is depleted because, SURPRISE, everyone gets sick from being over worked, and oh yeah, working with sick people. Moral is borderline through this time of year to say the least, so why not work all the holidays too!
Bright side is that I got engaged! I finally caught a boy! Time to break out the ball and chain I've been hiding in my closet and secure it firmly to his ankle. Hah. He prob doesn't quite find this as humorous as I do. I now have a pinterest problem that is borderline unhealthy, but sooo much fun until I get the calculator out and adding up costs of a wedding.
Since the last post was the most depressing thing I've ever dealt with at the hospital I will do all of us a favor and write some funny/dumb things I've encountered lately.
Here's a good one from today. Back-story: I was working in a post-op CT surgery icu (open hearts etc) admitting patients/running around doing a million things at once. We have a set protocol for vent settings/weaning/extubating these patients (so variations on vent settings have to be ordered). I was admitting a straightforward case this afternoon w/ the RN and a bright and shining NP student was bagging while I got the vent ready...
Baby NP: Did you get my settings?
Me: Yeah (they were written on report sheet).
Baby NP: Well, I have the peep at 8.
Me: Okay. Because they are bleeding?
Baby NP: No, I don't think so. Wait. Let me check. Just go ahead and change it.
Me: Did you have oxygenation issues in the OR?
Baby NP: No. Are you going to change the peep now? Well, let me just do it for you.
Me: Nooooope. (at this point I'm annoyed and not entirely sure she knows what peep really does, and I go stand in front of the vent and write down some numbers).
Anesthesia fellow: Well, Baby NP, what's your reasoning behind higher peep right now? (we are all now trying to figure out rational).
Baby NP: I am just following evidence based medicine.
Me: Which paper are you referencing?
Baby NP: ....uuuuh...
Attending: Okay, Baby NP, why don't you go make copies of the report sheet for everyone (a fools errand bc 1. we all have sheets anyway and 2. good luck finding our copy machine password).
As soon as they walk out of the room in search of the impossible copier we bust out in uncontrollable laughter. Attending for the score!Lesson: Don't be a cocky student. And DEFINITELY don't be a cocky student that has no idea what they are talking about. The rest of the day all the doctors asked me to turn up the peep on non-intubated patients. We laughed, but in reality the scary thing is that at some point that NP will be taking care of really sick people. Hopefully the Baby NP will find some humility soon...
Fibromyalgia. I added that one onto the list of patients that I don't trust (along side of patients with multiple multiple allergies to things like gluten, Ibprofen, tylenol, ultram, cilantro, and all kinds of tape). I think it's the perfect diagnosis for hypochondriacs. Juuuust an observation.
Anywho. Bedtime for this lady. More fun awaits me in the morning.
Bright side is that I got engaged! I finally caught a boy! Time to break out the ball and chain I've been hiding in my closet and secure it firmly to his ankle. Hah. He prob doesn't quite find this as humorous as I do. I now have a pinterest problem that is borderline unhealthy, but sooo much fun until I get the calculator out and adding up costs of a wedding.
Since the last post was the most depressing thing I've ever dealt with at the hospital I will do all of us a favor and write some funny/dumb things I've encountered lately.
Here's a good one from today. Back-story: I was working in a post-op CT surgery icu (open hearts etc) admitting patients/running around doing a million things at once. We have a set protocol for vent settings/weaning/extubating these patients (so variations on vent settings have to be ordered). I was admitting a straightforward case this afternoon w/ the RN and a bright and shining NP student was bagging while I got the vent ready...
Baby NP: Did you get my settings?
Me: Yeah (they were written on report sheet).
Baby NP: Well, I have the peep at 8.
Me: Okay. Because they are bleeding?
Baby NP: No, I don't think so. Wait. Let me check. Just go ahead and change it.
Me: Did you have oxygenation issues in the OR?
Baby NP: No. Are you going to change the peep now? Well, let me just do it for you.
Me: Nooooope. (at this point I'm annoyed and not entirely sure she knows what peep really does, and I go stand in front of the vent and write down some numbers).
Anesthesia fellow: Well, Baby NP, what's your reasoning behind higher peep right now? (we are all now trying to figure out rational).
Baby NP: I am just following evidence based medicine.
Me: Which paper are you referencing?
Baby NP: ....uuuuh...
Attending: Okay, Baby NP, why don't you go make copies of the report sheet for everyone (a fools errand bc 1. we all have sheets anyway and 2. good luck finding our copy machine password).
As soon as they walk out of the room in search of the impossible copier we bust out in uncontrollable laughter. Attending for the score!Lesson: Don't be a cocky student. And DEFINITELY don't be a cocky student that has no idea what they are talking about. The rest of the day all the doctors asked me to turn up the peep on non-intubated patients. We laughed, but in reality the scary thing is that at some point that NP will be taking care of really sick people. Hopefully the Baby NP will find some humility soon...
Fibromyalgia. I added that one onto the list of patients that I don't trust (along side of patients with multiple multiple allergies to things like gluten, Ibprofen, tylenol, ultram, cilantro, and all kinds of tape). I think it's the perfect diagnosis for hypochondriacs. Juuuust an observation.
Anywho. Bedtime for this lady. More fun awaits me in the morning.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Listen
I'm kind of at a blank on how to begin writing this post today. It's hump day, and I've spent most of it on the couch reading some horribly offensive young adult novel about categorizing citizens blah blah blah. I guess it made for some interesting dreams last night with crazy people chasing me with guns and sappy love stories that included someone referring to me as "Lucky Charms." I guess it's a play on my Irish name of origin, and as he so boldly put it in the dream, "...Lucky Charms, because you're magically delicious." Yeah, even my subconscious is weird.
I started to write a post a few weeks ago about this really bad night at work. I walked out of that code that night with a red hot face that was bursting with anger, and tears that were so heavy that they just collected in my eyelashes before dropping down my cheek. Completely lost my shit. In response to try and deal with it all, I started writing a new blog entree to relieve the festering anger and allow me to sleep, but all that came out on paper was a bunch of childish comments and sarcasm to cover up how much that night hurt.
I'm glad I didn't post that rant, because I just read it over again and I can honestly say that I sounded like a brat. I was writing to vent (yes pun intended). Now I'm a little more rational but I still need to write about it. With that in mind, the specific details of the code are really miscellaneous. However I will say that I tried to tell the MD three times over that this patient needed x, y, z and to page ENT, oh about 3 hrs ago. The MD did not listen to my suggestions, and the result was a code blue nightmare that left me raging with guilt.
Guilt because I had failed to help keep this patient from harm. Anger because my voice was silenced without consideration. It was only in the desperate moments at the end of everything that they finally listened to me, but at that point it was really too late. All I could do that night was cry behind the ABG lab door for a few minutes, compose myself and then get on with work.
After retrospection and some counseling from my sage adviser I calmed down from the moment. It took a few days for the emotions to subside completely. I don't break down often at work, so it kind of shocked me when I couldn't let this one go. I get irritated at coworkers all the time, and use those moments to remind me that I am not a prisoner of my job; it motivates me to get my ass in gear and go back to school. But this code was different. I couldn't use a patient's death to spark my inspiration to take Chemistry in the fall. It felt like a cheap way to deal with it.
I don't want to fall into the trap of going to PA school just so I can be the decider and write all of the orders. It has to be so much more than that. I know I make mistakes. I know I am not always right. Disagreeing happens. What I find respectful in a practitioner is one that will listen to my argument, say no, but then give a justifiable answer for the decision as to why they don't agree.
Sometimes it is hard as a RT to remember that we are really there to follow MDs orders. That no matter how much value we have in critical care, all of that, is easily forgotten when up against a practitioner's inexperience/ego/stubbornness. It hurts our esteem as qualified members of critical care when our suggestion is met with a blank stare, and shot down without consideration. Every time I move up to the Esteem rung on the Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid, an event like this one threatens to bump me off again. I really think that is why so many of us burn out. Most of the time it is a thankless job, and I know for me it is very hard to gain that self-esteem back when I am not respected in my profession. Over, and over and over again.
I wanted to go talk to that MD after the code so badly, and have the "I told you so" moment. I felt like it would make me feel better or give me a taste of validation. I also thought about writing them up for a litany of reasons in the name of patient safety. But I didn't. I'd like to say it was because I took the high road, but really it was just to avoid confrontation because I was still so upset.
I suppose I'm still hanging on to it a little, still trying to process that night. I guess I'm still human. Thanks for listening.
I started to write a post a few weeks ago about this really bad night at work. I walked out of that code that night with a red hot face that was bursting with anger, and tears that were so heavy that they just collected in my eyelashes before dropping down my cheek. Completely lost my shit. In response to try and deal with it all, I started writing a new blog entree to relieve the festering anger and allow me to sleep, but all that came out on paper was a bunch of childish comments and sarcasm to cover up how much that night hurt.
I'm glad I didn't post that rant, because I just read it over again and I can honestly say that I sounded like a brat. I was writing to vent (yes pun intended). Now I'm a little more rational but I still need to write about it. With that in mind, the specific details of the code are really miscellaneous. However I will say that I tried to tell the MD three times over that this patient needed x, y, z and to page ENT, oh about 3 hrs ago. The MD did not listen to my suggestions, and the result was a code blue nightmare that left me raging with guilt.
Guilt because I had failed to help keep this patient from harm. Anger because my voice was silenced without consideration. It was only in the desperate moments at the end of everything that they finally listened to me, but at that point it was really too late. All I could do that night was cry behind the ABG lab door for a few minutes, compose myself and then get on with work.
After retrospection and some counseling from my sage adviser I calmed down from the moment. It took a few days for the emotions to subside completely. I don't break down often at work, so it kind of shocked me when I couldn't let this one go. I get irritated at coworkers all the time, and use those moments to remind me that I am not a prisoner of my job; it motivates me to get my ass in gear and go back to school. But this code was different. I couldn't use a patient's death to spark my inspiration to take Chemistry in the fall. It felt like a cheap way to deal with it.
I don't want to fall into the trap of going to PA school just so I can be the decider and write all of the orders. It has to be so much more than that. I know I make mistakes. I know I am not always right. Disagreeing happens. What I find respectful in a practitioner is one that will listen to my argument, say no, but then give a justifiable answer for the decision as to why they don't agree.
Sometimes it is hard as a RT to remember that we are really there to follow MDs orders. That no matter how much value we have in critical care, all of that, is easily forgotten when up against a practitioner's inexperience/ego/stubbornness. It hurts our esteem as qualified members of critical care when our suggestion is met with a blank stare, and shot down without consideration. Every time I move up to the Esteem rung on the Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid, an event like this one threatens to bump me off again. I really think that is why so many of us burn out. Most of the time it is a thankless job, and I know for me it is very hard to gain that self-esteem back when I am not respected in my profession. Over, and over and over again.
I wanted to go talk to that MD after the code so badly, and have the "I told you so" moment. I felt like it would make me feel better or give me a taste of validation. I also thought about writing them up for a litany of reasons in the name of patient safety. But I didn't. I'd like to say it was because I took the high road, but really it was just to avoid confrontation because I was still so upset.
I suppose I'm still hanging on to it a little, still trying to process that night. I guess I'm still human. Thanks for listening.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
sick
Strange to think of it this way, but...
Please learn to work in a hospital while you are sick. Just go ahead and accept that. I'm not joking. I have learned over the last few years of work that calling in sick/out for family/life issues will cost you dearly. I'm not saying this from a bitter perspective; rather one to help new grads/new hires realize where they sit in the caste system of your department. The punishment will come in several different manifestations, but the end result will be the same; emotionally draining. Because, honestly, we don't get enough of that as is. I've put together a list of things to help you as a newbie, that I've had to learn the hard way:
1. Learn your attendance policy backward, forward, and every space in between. Seriously, look it up, print it out, and know what is expected of you.
2. Get the flu shot. Period. Don't even argue on it.
3. Find someone at work to be your go-to for switching shifts. I've saved myself a few sick days just merely asking a co-worker to switch and give me an extra day to rest when I'm sick.
4. IF you are throwing up, running a raging temp, coughing up phlegm buckets, or have a hemorrhagic viral infection ( ie, Ebola), do not go to work, and do not let anyone make you feel bad for calling out. Remember that you are involved in direct patient contact, and any of your harmful germs could really push a very ill patient over the edge.
5. Stay on top of getting your licence renewed. CEU's creep up on you reaaaaally fast when they are due.
6. Get a reliable car, but make sure it's with in your means.
7. Zyrtec in the spring, airborne in the fall.
8. Yoga/meditation for your mental health. That's very important too.
Switching subjects, because I'm so great at that...
I'm actually enjoying my new shift. It's not a huge change (right now I work from 3-11pm, and 11am-11pm), but it really makes a big difference: 11am-7pm. I'm in love. I still get to sleep in, and also leave work at an earlier hour so I can work out/get groceries/socialize with normal people.
It can sometimes require a lot of flexibility. I spent the first four hours helping out coworkers cover lunch and/or recovering the CABG/heart patients that roll out of surgery and then I pick up an assignment at 3pm to cover the Q4 vent checks in an ICU until the night shift crew rolls in. Sometimes I find myself not really getting a break in all of the switches, but I generally am in a much better mood since it means I get to leave early.
This summer is going to bitter sweet when it comes to work. A few of my favorite co-workers are finishing up their masters degrees and will be out on the hunt for new jobs. I'm really happy for them with all of their new opportunities, but I am sad that I won't have my good friends to joke around with anymore. Like I said, bitter sweet.
Anywho. This pollen is raping my face yet again. Spring time is killing me right now.
One last little fun bit.... One of the attendings at work dropped this one-liner that had me in stitches. "How about you get the orders from your BRAIN".
Please learn to work in a hospital while you are sick. Just go ahead and accept that. I'm not joking. I have learned over the last few years of work that calling in sick/out for family/life issues will cost you dearly. I'm not saying this from a bitter perspective; rather one to help new grads/new hires realize where they sit in the caste system of your department. The punishment will come in several different manifestations, but the end result will be the same; emotionally draining. Because, honestly, we don't get enough of that as is. I've put together a list of things to help you as a newbie, that I've had to learn the hard way:
1. Learn your attendance policy backward, forward, and every space in between. Seriously, look it up, print it out, and know what is expected of you.
2. Get the flu shot. Period. Don't even argue on it.
3. Find someone at work to be your go-to for switching shifts. I've saved myself a few sick days just merely asking a co-worker to switch and give me an extra day to rest when I'm sick.
4. IF you are throwing up, running a raging temp, coughing up phlegm buckets, or have a hemorrhagic viral infection ( ie, Ebola), do not go to work, and do not let anyone make you feel bad for calling out. Remember that you are involved in direct patient contact, and any of your harmful germs could really push a very ill patient over the edge.
5. Stay on top of getting your licence renewed. CEU's creep up on you reaaaaally fast when they are due.
6. Get a reliable car, but make sure it's with in your means.
7. Zyrtec in the spring, airborne in the fall.
8. Yoga/meditation for your mental health. That's very important too.
Switching subjects, because I'm so great at that...
I'm actually enjoying my new shift. It's not a huge change (right now I work from 3-11pm, and 11am-11pm), but it really makes a big difference: 11am-7pm. I'm in love. I still get to sleep in, and also leave work at an earlier hour so I can work out/get groceries/socialize with normal people.
It can sometimes require a lot of flexibility. I spent the first four hours helping out coworkers cover lunch and/or recovering the CABG/heart patients that roll out of surgery and then I pick up an assignment at 3pm to cover the Q4 vent checks in an ICU until the night shift crew rolls in. Sometimes I find myself not really getting a break in all of the switches, but I generally am in a much better mood since it means I get to leave early.
This summer is going to bitter sweet when it comes to work. A few of my favorite co-workers are finishing up their masters degrees and will be out on the hunt for new jobs. I'm really happy for them with all of their new opportunities, but I am sad that I won't have my good friends to joke around with anymore. Like I said, bitter sweet.
Anywho. This pollen is raping my face yet again. Spring time is killing me right now.
One last little fun bit.... One of the attendings at work dropped this one-liner that had me in stitches. "How about you get the orders from your BRAIN".
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Bored
Today is a bit rare. I actually have some time to write on this here ole blog thing. Well, maybe I've had time here and there, but between sleeping and complaining I kept putting it off.
Here's the current list of complaints: my back hurts, heavy ass work assignments, zero interest in budgeting my monies effectively, bills, no trips on the horizon, patients asking for stupid things, AOS (attending over-ordering syndrome), brand new impossible charting standards, cold weather, other people's weddings that bogart my time off, lack of desire to work out, days off that are spent running errands/cleaning, and just that circular grind that happens as soon as you get a big girl job.
I walked outside this past Sunday into sunlight in a t-shirt for the first time this year. I think that's probably the most cheerful I've been in a while. I'm pretty sure it's just burn out and being over-worked that's kept me down. I even tried a "stay-cation" to help re-set my mind, but all that ended up happening was far too much netflix watching and doing a whole lot of nothing. It was quite nice, but I also feel guilty because I had multiple adult-like responsibilities to get done and...nada.
I knew burn out would eventually happen in this profession. Sure, there's way more I could learn and work towards on improving patient care, but when I have a 12 hr shift that is completely packed with tasks, it is kind of hard to read about new research and refresh my knowledge on protocols. It really does depress me that I can't spend time with a really sick patient because I have twenty other miscellaneous treatments on the floor to finish in a 2 hr window if I want to be compliant with med charting standards.
I never realized when I was getting into this profession that people are lazy. Keeping patients alive is so difficult, and what's even harder is knowing that what we do is futile most of the time. So all those stat orders are just taken with a grain of salt. What's worse are the cliques that form and just let the outsiders flounder when they need help.
I need to sleep. And do a little more pondering.
Here's the current list of complaints: my back hurts, heavy ass work assignments, zero interest in budgeting my monies effectively, bills, no trips on the horizon, patients asking for stupid things, AOS (attending over-ordering syndrome), brand new impossible charting standards, cold weather, other people's weddings that bogart my time off, lack of desire to work out, days off that are spent running errands/cleaning, and just that circular grind that happens as soon as you get a big girl job.
I walked outside this past Sunday into sunlight in a t-shirt for the first time this year. I think that's probably the most cheerful I've been in a while. I'm pretty sure it's just burn out and being over-worked that's kept me down. I even tried a "stay-cation" to help re-set my mind, but all that ended up happening was far too much netflix watching and doing a whole lot of nothing. It was quite nice, but I also feel guilty because I had multiple adult-like responsibilities to get done and...nada.
I knew burn out would eventually happen in this profession. Sure, there's way more I could learn and work towards on improving patient care, but when I have a 12 hr shift that is completely packed with tasks, it is kind of hard to read about new research and refresh my knowledge on protocols. It really does depress me that I can't spend time with a really sick patient because I have twenty other miscellaneous treatments on the floor to finish in a 2 hr window if I want to be compliant with med charting standards.
I never realized when I was getting into this profession that people are lazy. Keeping patients alive is so difficult, and what's even harder is knowing that what we do is futile most of the time. So all those stat orders are just taken with a grain of salt. What's worse are the cliques that form and just let the outsiders flounder when they need help.
I need to sleep. And do a little more pondering.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Pop Quiz
I've started to realize that I lose my filter in conversation as the day progresses. Chalk it up to being extraordinarily over worked, mental Olympics to get report ready, or that one last stat abg on the floor that winds up with critical results on every. single. line. So games are always fun, so here's a multiple choice pop quiz because I know a lot of you guys are students.
1. In a 12 bed MICU, what should be the maximum amount of vented patients ONE therapist should be assigned?
a. Four
b. Two, as well as other admits/breathing treatments and maybe a floor
c. Six
d. Ten, plus a floor with tons of frequent fliers with flu/wheezes.
e. N/A because your hospital has fantastic staffing (*envious*)
2. When you have an emergent intubation on a patient that has an unknown metabolic acidosis, would you put them on normal "nbrc" modes (rate of 10 or 12) of ventilation to begin with?
a. True
b. False
c. It doesn't matter because the NP has no clue what he/she's doing and he/she will not listen to what you have to say.
3. Who should ultimately be held accountable for a patient?
a. The attending
b. The admitting surgeon
c. The RN/RT
d. The resident
e. What does that word mean? aaaaah count ahhhh bility?
4. What is the fastest way to anger a mid-level (PA/NP)?
a. Ask how long they worked bedside before getting their licence
b. Tell them that the changes they want you to make are dumb
c. Go call the attending with questions instead of asking them what they would like to do
d. All of the above
just for fun one more
5. Why does PACU suck for me so much?
a. Finding supplies is absolutely impossible
b. Anesthesia trying to tell me to put a patient on 10cc's/kg because "that's what they need"
c. I have no clue what the patient had done in surgery or what the nurses name is
d. No therapist is actually assigned to that mess and I frequently have to deal with it
e. Being paged for a "wake up vent" in bay three because anesthesia wants to go home early
"Answers" per me.
1. b. I don't think one RT should have to round on more than four vents in an ICU. That takes in consideration getting the Q3 vent checks in as well as all the little abg/vbg/mvo2/mini bal/coding patients/new admits going crazy that pop up like they do. I once had an ICU that started with 3 vents, and then ended up with 9 at the end of my shift. Can we say tbh, fml. Oh, and a floor added on to all that nonsense. This is a staffing issue. There are 8 therapists on the shift, one supervisor, and 8 ICUs. Let's not even get into the floors/ER that have to be tacked onto the assignments. I'd be interested to hear how other hospitals are staffed, so if you feel strongly about therapist to vented patient ratios, leave me a comment.
2 b. False. I'm a fan of lower tidal volumes and higher rates, so I set the rate high to blow off CO2 to compensate for a low bicarb. No one knew where the acidosis came from, but yet the NP wanted to start weaning the rate on a perfect gas before we even knew where the met acidosis came from. Why would you start weaning the minute volume before addressing WHAT KIND OF ACIDOSIS IT IS/FIXING THAT FIRST?! Once the acidosis is starting to be resolved, I'm perfectly fine with weaning rates, but not when the bicarb on the patient is SIX. Ok, rant is mostly over.
3. E. Very rarely will someone step up and be accountable for a mistake. The other day I saw a cardio-thoracic surgeon causing a huge scene in the ICU because a resident didn't order a mixed venous on his patient who was in heart failure. Well, mister CT surgeon, you can yell and scream all you want at us about accountability, but you were the one that did a mitral valve repair and coronary arterial bypass graft x2 open heart on pump on a ninety-something year old with multiple comorbidities.
4. d. all of the above. heh.
5. Every single bit. a b c d. But answer E really ruffles my feathers because these patients are on one of our vents for MAYBE one hour, and are charged about 3k because someone's feeling lazy. Sigh, oh the issues with healthcare.
Anyway. Quiz time is over for now. Just another way to skillfully organize my complaints over the last few weeks.
I think I've touched on this subject before, but I'm going to go here again anyway. I believe in hospice 100% for end of life care. I also believe that having a solid plan put together for a senior citizen would save a whole hell of a lot of money for the patients, hospitals and the government. But shhhh. No one likes to talk about death, and how most people face their last day on earth as torture with tubes in every orifice. The old and dying population account for 80% of healthcare costs, but yet family members still want everything done to their 92 year old grandma that is constantly aspirating her tube feeds and has basically no sedation because the PA wants to be "progressive" and not use continuous drips of seditives. Next stop for grandma is trach and peg land, and then get ready for some faaaantastic nursing home care that will include huge decubitus ulcers, and some kind of new antibiotic resistant super bug that's been going around in that facility. But the last stop is back to the hospital and into the ICU/ED where we will still try and keep her alive by shoving needles in her for central lines, a-lines, and doing cpr that will most undoubtedly crack a few of her frail ribs. All of that, or, grandma gets to be in her warm bed at home with fido curled up by her side, all of her loved ones next to her, and the hospice nurse dosing her up on morphine to help ease the pain and work of breathing from her heart slowly giving out.
I just don't think the general public is aware of this. I wish that weren't the case, I honestly do.
1. In a 12 bed MICU, what should be the maximum amount of vented patients ONE therapist should be assigned?
a. Four
b. Two, as well as other admits/breathing treatments and maybe a floor
c. Six
d. Ten, plus a floor with tons of frequent fliers with flu/wheezes.
e. N/A because your hospital has fantastic staffing (*envious*)
2. When you have an emergent intubation on a patient that has an unknown metabolic acidosis, would you put them on normal "nbrc" modes (rate of 10 or 12) of ventilation to begin with?
a. True
b. False
c. It doesn't matter because the NP has no clue what he/she's doing and he/she will not listen to what you have to say.
3. Who should ultimately be held accountable for a patient?
a. The attending
b. The admitting surgeon
c. The RN/RT
d. The resident
e. What does that word mean? aaaaah count ahhhh bility?
4. What is the fastest way to anger a mid-level (PA/NP)?
a. Ask how long they worked bedside before getting their licence
b. Tell them that the changes they want you to make are dumb
c. Go call the attending with questions instead of asking them what they would like to do
d. All of the above
just for fun one more
5. Why does PACU suck for me so much?
a. Finding supplies is absolutely impossible
b. Anesthesia trying to tell me to put a patient on 10cc's/kg because "that's what they need"
c. I have no clue what the patient had done in surgery or what the nurses name is
d. No therapist is actually assigned to that mess and I frequently have to deal with it
e. Being paged for a "wake up vent" in bay three because anesthesia wants to go home early
"Answers" per me.
1. b. I don't think one RT should have to round on more than four vents in an ICU. That takes in consideration getting the Q3 vent checks in as well as all the little abg/vbg/mvo2/mini bal/coding patients/new admits going crazy that pop up like they do. I once had an ICU that started with 3 vents, and then ended up with 9 at the end of my shift. Can we say tbh, fml. Oh, and a floor added on to all that nonsense. This is a staffing issue. There are 8 therapists on the shift, one supervisor, and 8 ICUs. Let's not even get into the floors/ER that have to be tacked onto the assignments. I'd be interested to hear how other hospitals are staffed, so if you feel strongly about therapist to vented patient ratios, leave me a comment.
2 b. False. I'm a fan of lower tidal volumes and higher rates, so I set the rate high to blow off CO2 to compensate for a low bicarb. No one knew where the acidosis came from, but yet the NP wanted to start weaning the rate on a perfect gas before we even knew where the met acidosis came from. Why would you start weaning the minute volume before addressing WHAT KIND OF ACIDOSIS IT IS/FIXING THAT FIRST?! Once the acidosis is starting to be resolved, I'm perfectly fine with weaning rates, but not when the bicarb on the patient is SIX. Ok, rant is mostly over.
3. E. Very rarely will someone step up and be accountable for a mistake. The other day I saw a cardio-thoracic surgeon causing a huge scene in the ICU because a resident didn't order a mixed venous on his patient who was in heart failure. Well, mister CT surgeon, you can yell and scream all you want at us about accountability, but you were the one that did a mitral valve repair and coronary arterial bypass graft x2 open heart on pump on a ninety-something year old with multiple comorbidities.
4. d. all of the above. heh.
5. Every single bit. a b c d. But answer E really ruffles my feathers because these patients are on one of our vents for MAYBE one hour, and are charged about 3k because someone's feeling lazy. Sigh, oh the issues with healthcare.
Anyway. Quiz time is over for now. Just another way to skillfully organize my complaints over the last few weeks.
I think I've touched on this subject before, but I'm going to go here again anyway. I believe in hospice 100% for end of life care. I also believe that having a solid plan put together for a senior citizen would save a whole hell of a lot of money for the patients, hospitals and the government. But shhhh. No one likes to talk about death, and how most people face their last day on earth as torture with tubes in every orifice. The old and dying population account for 80% of healthcare costs, but yet family members still want everything done to their 92 year old grandma that is constantly aspirating her tube feeds and has basically no sedation because the PA wants to be "progressive" and not use continuous drips of seditives. Next stop for grandma is trach and peg land, and then get ready for some faaaantastic nursing home care that will include huge decubitus ulcers, and some kind of new antibiotic resistant super bug that's been going around in that facility. But the last stop is back to the hospital and into the ICU/ED where we will still try and keep her alive by shoving needles in her for central lines, a-lines, and doing cpr that will most undoubtedly crack a few of her frail ribs. All of that, or, grandma gets to be in her warm bed at home with fido curled up by her side, all of her loved ones next to her, and the hospice nurse dosing her up on morphine to help ease the pain and work of breathing from her heart slowly giving out.
I just don't think the general public is aware of this. I wish that weren't the case, I honestly do.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Spidey-sense
I was having an interesting conversation with a resident earlier (and actually, gasp, enjoyed it) about how to know when to intubate a patient that looks like poop, but has a relatively normal blood gas. It was interesting in the sense that he really was looking for my opinion/experience on the matter. We bounced ideas back and forth and came to a few major points to look over.
1. What does the patient look like? Labored, sweaty, pale, jaundiced, only awake when aroused, old/young?
2. Are they oriented to time/place (sans hypercapnia)? (ie could they anticipate vomiting and warn someone about it?)
3. What disease process(es)/history is causing this? Someone with ESRD can usually be fixed with bridge bipap/dialysis, whereas a stage 4 met lung CA patient is terminally ill and will succumb to the disease eventually.
4. What are the other vital signs/labs? Basically, are they about to code b/c their BP is labile and HR is jumping from 120's to 180's with a few pvcs thrown in there?
5. Does the patient/family want aggressive care? Code status and the patient's wishes should always be respected if they are of sound mind (medical power of attorney plays a role, too)
6. Spidey-sense? This one is just something I've acquired over time. Call it intuition, my experiences in the ED, ICU or pre-coding patients on the floor... I just can tell when a patient is coming up close to needing life support.
Those are just some good starting points (no particular order) in making a call on those borderline patients. I feel like one of the most obvious green lights for intubation on airway protection is status epilepticus that won't respond to benzos/barbituates (also taking into account respiratory drive depression from those drugs as well). Flash pulmonary edema in extreme cases, epiglottis (this is an absolute), hemoptisis, unstable NSTEMI going to cath lab, drug overdose, and history of very difficult airway in resp distress are the other big ones that I would push for intubation.
Personally, I tend to go with that if the patient is exhibiting at least 3 of the 6 points I brought up, I will voice my opinion. Now, most of the time I don't make that call, but at least I can put forth my two cents (whether it's taken seriously depends on the boss man in charge). I do find it hard to swallow some days when I can see an intubation coming from a mile away, but no one will listen to my plea because abcdefg reasons.
I know I have more to elaborate on this subject, but it's late and I have another long long shift coming forth tomorrow.
I hope you are all enjoying the lovely fall weather :)
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
feeling feelings
So. Lots to discuss, but not enough desire to bore you with all of it. Just enough to keep up with the changing tides.
Work is a constant evolution of face palms. 1. work load. 2. computer systems changing at the same time as 3. annual check offs that are convoluted and weird 4. the suits and their obvious and completely horrific displays of favoritism 5. being sick, triggered from work load 6. breaking bad is over and I no longer have something to small-talk my manager about 7. i dont like the new set of residents because one of them ordered an abg & electrolytes on a dnr/dni patient just to check a k+ level that should have been tacked on in morning labs that THIS RESIDENT FORGOT TO ORDER. And wanted me to help them put in the a-line. At 10:30 at night. Noooooope.
Anyway. Perfect segue into reasoning behind going back to school...
Apparently... a university system hospital that is of a "public service" entity,such as the finest university system hospital I am currently employed (hopefully to stay thus), reaches the bracket of loan exemption. Listen up kids, this is important. So, if I make 170 qualifying payments to my stafford loans (about 10 yrs give or take with some wiggle room), I can qualify for student loan forgiveness. Breaking it down...
Let's just say I have less than 20K in loans now. If I keep paying, go back to school and finish up prereqs for PA school, keep paying on loans through the PA program (which would be optional), exit said program with a price tag of 140K, and meet the criteria for loan forgiveness upon graduation and re-hire from current hospital employed....
Deep breath. Sigh. Could it be? Education that doesn't completely rape your bank account for the rest of your life? This all seemed too good to be true. Maybe it will all change someday soon, but for now I would suggest peeking into the current gov loan forgiveness program. I've let student loans deter me from going back to school for 2+ years, and I'm no longer letting the fear of repayment keep me from achieving my goals.
So the decision has been made. I'll start chipping away at classes over the next few years with the over-all goal in mind. Deep breaths again. It all begins in January.
I have felt kind of nostalgic tonight. Whether it's just been from writing on this blog, getting out there and having my adventure fun times, or just relationships (friendships and relationships alike), that are keeping me on edge...slightly. I feel like I've let some good people slip through the cracks. I wish some of my exs had just been friends, and nothing more. I can see now that I should never have held such amazing characters up to my fine-tip comb of my inadequacies.
As far as the ever-stimulating game of dating is concerned, I met someone. A person that's pretty important, and sees the bigger picture. We shall see how it evolves.
Work is a constant evolution of face palms. 1. work load. 2. computer systems changing at the same time as 3. annual check offs that are convoluted and weird 4. the suits and their obvious and completely horrific displays of favoritism 5. being sick, triggered from work load 6. breaking bad is over and I no longer have something to small-talk my manager about 7. i dont like the new set of residents because one of them ordered an abg & electrolytes on a dnr/dni patient just to check a k+ level that should have been tacked on in morning labs that THIS RESIDENT FORGOT TO ORDER. And wanted me to help them put in the a-line. At 10:30 at night. Noooooope.
Anyway. Perfect segue into reasoning behind going back to school...
Apparently... a university system hospital that is of a "public service" entity,such as the finest university system hospital I am currently employed (hopefully to stay thus), reaches the bracket of loan exemption. Listen up kids, this is important. So, if I make 170 qualifying payments to my stafford loans (about 10 yrs give or take with some wiggle room), I can qualify for student loan forgiveness. Breaking it down...
Let's just say I have less than 20K in loans now. If I keep paying, go back to school and finish up prereqs for PA school, keep paying on loans through the PA program (which would be optional), exit said program with a price tag of 140K, and meet the criteria for loan forgiveness upon graduation and re-hire from current hospital employed....
Deep breath. Sigh. Could it be? Education that doesn't completely rape your bank account for the rest of your life? This all seemed too good to be true. Maybe it will all change someday soon, but for now I would suggest peeking into the current gov loan forgiveness program. I've let student loans deter me from going back to school for 2+ years, and I'm no longer letting the fear of repayment keep me from achieving my goals.
So the decision has been made. I'll start chipping away at classes over the next few years with the over-all goal in mind. Deep breaths again. It all begins in January.
I have felt kind of nostalgic tonight. Whether it's just been from writing on this blog, getting out there and having my adventure fun times, or just relationships (friendships and relationships alike), that are keeping me on edge...slightly. I feel like I've let some good people slip through the cracks. I wish some of my exs had just been friends, and nothing more. I can see now that I should never have held such amazing characters up to my fine-tip comb of my inadequacies.
As far as the ever-stimulating game of dating is concerned, I met someone. A person that's pretty important, and sees the bigger picture. We shall see how it evolves.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
1 a.m.
Oh. So you can turn off a ventilator (and subsequently a brain/person...but let's not get so philosophical now) in a second... so why is it 1 a.m. and I still can't turn my brain off? Oh yeah, irony.
I think we all have a limit of bullshit we will put up with. I guess I just hit the wall today. Hard. My left eye has been twitching constantly for the last 7 hrs. And you know what? The only thing that made it stop was a heavy pour of red, red, wine. There's your advice for the evening. If you are considering a career in RT, please keep in mind you might become an alcoholic if every day in the hospital turns into the one I had today. I think I drank most of my caloric intake today based on that I had a 20 minute break once in a 12 hr shift. I was lucky for even that.
I really don't see how women can work full time, keep a house in check, kids alive, food on table, schedules organized, shower/grooming, and still have time to turn their brains off/sleep at the end of the day. It takes me forever to unwind and all I have to worry about is a job, a dog, and a house. I think I could do a better job at allocating time and energy for projects around the house, but seriously my backyard it out of control. Yard work is not one of my stronger characteristics, and it has basically rained all summer in GA. I have had such a lovely time trying to get the outside weeds/responsibilities under control. My neighbors really don't help, either. I've gotten passive aggressive messages from both of them (to the left and right) and I swear, if they even try to question my methods after I spent 10 hrs out there on Sunday I will just tell them to go call the yard police. I need a cabana boy/toy/man-that-knows-yard stuff/looks good with a shirt off...I'll stop there.
I really don't like pulling the I-work-in-critical-care-and-have-lives-on-the-line card when I need space, but sometimes you just throw that one down to keep you in the game of poker. They will never know if you are bluffing (most evidently if they aren't in healthcare). Just mumble something about blood pressure being too low, abg kits that you started with have all been used, poop/smells, tracheal stenosis caused by trach x2 history and they are in resp distress, a lactate that's on par of the number of socks I wear in a month, mini BAL with no sedation orders, maxed pressors, a nurse that calls you constantly for a vent alarm that is only correlated to lack of sedation, no of full o2 tanks on the transport vent with a crit pt with 100% and 15+ peep, and no help when you could really use it. Some of that's true, some of that's false. Poker face, prn.
I donated platelets last week for the first time. If you have some form of ADD I would suggest that you never do this. It basically amounts to laying both arms out, palms up with two non-disposable 18 gauge needles in both arms (that will ruin your world if you bend your elbow at any time), and a superb attention span to watch your IV bag fill up with plasma. I guess the upside is that you have 2 hrs of uninterrupted time to watch a movie, and have someone at your call to scratch a mosquito bite on your ankle. I take what I can get.
I have my annual competency review tomorrow first thing.
And that's when I call it. Good night all. Listen to the song, Breathe Me by Sia.
I think we all have a limit of bullshit we will put up with. I guess I just hit the wall today. Hard. My left eye has been twitching constantly for the last 7 hrs. And you know what? The only thing that made it stop was a heavy pour of red, red, wine. There's your advice for the evening. If you are considering a career in RT, please keep in mind you might become an alcoholic if every day in the hospital turns into the one I had today. I think I drank most of my caloric intake today based on that I had a 20 minute break once in a 12 hr shift. I was lucky for even that.
I really don't see how women can work full time, keep a house in check, kids alive, food on table, schedules organized, shower/grooming, and still have time to turn their brains off/sleep at the end of the day. It takes me forever to unwind and all I have to worry about is a job, a dog, and a house. I think I could do a better job at allocating time and energy for projects around the house, but seriously my backyard it out of control. Yard work is not one of my stronger characteristics, and it has basically rained all summer in GA. I have had such a lovely time trying to get the outside weeds/responsibilities under control. My neighbors really don't help, either. I've gotten passive aggressive messages from both of them (to the left and right) and I swear, if they even try to question my methods after I spent 10 hrs out there on Sunday I will just tell them to go call the yard police. I need a cabana boy/toy/man-that-knows-yard stuff/looks good with a shirt off...I'll stop there.
I really don't like pulling the I-work-in-critical-care-and-have-lives-on-the-line card when I need space, but sometimes you just throw that one down to keep you in the game of poker. They will never know if you are bluffing (most evidently if they aren't in healthcare). Just mumble something about blood pressure being too low, abg kits that you started with have all been used, poop/smells, tracheal stenosis caused by trach x2 history and they are in resp distress, a lactate that's on par of the number of socks I wear in a month, mini BAL with no sedation orders, maxed pressors, a nurse that calls you constantly for a vent alarm that is only correlated to lack of sedation, no of full o2 tanks on the transport vent with a crit pt with 100% and 15+ peep, and no help when you could really use it. Some of that's true, some of that's false. Poker face, prn.
I donated platelets last week for the first time. If you have some form of ADD I would suggest that you never do this. It basically amounts to laying both arms out, palms up with two non-disposable 18 gauge needles in both arms (that will ruin your world if you bend your elbow at any time), and a superb attention span to watch your IV bag fill up with plasma. I guess the upside is that you have 2 hrs of uninterrupted time to watch a movie, and have someone at your call to scratch a mosquito bite on your ankle. I take what I can get.
I have my annual competency review tomorrow first thing.
And that's when I call it. Good night all. Listen to the song, Breathe Me by Sia.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
On writing
... In tonight's program we will feature the amazing writing of The Dirty Poet in, Emergency Room Wrestling.
"i stick in a nasal trumpet
i stick in an oral airway
i stick a suction catheter up his nose
triggering a vast bubble of yellow bile out his mouth
step back! i shoutthe room screams"
"i stick in a nasal trumpet
i stick in an oral airway
i stick a suction catheter up his nose
triggering a vast bubble of yellow bile out his mouth
step back! i shoutthe room screams"
I haven't finished it all quite yet. I don't want it to end. A page a day. Such a good think in moderation.
I've written a lot of poetry before. Some of it I've let fall away into the back of my mind, but this book had kind of made me want to try my hand at it again. I think writing is quite possibly the only thing that has saved me time in and time out in my life. It's most poignant when I'm travelling. Or, I should say when I have enough free time to be alone and be compelled to pick the pen or laptop.
Well. Work is changing. I'll report more on the through analysis in coming weeks.
I'm so. so. so. so VERY tired of dating. I know I've said it once, but it needs to be repeated. My personal life hasn't been much discussed here recently. I guess it just changes so often. For now, single is what I will be. I just can't keep forcing anything that isn't right. If you roam back to the ancient times of this-blog-past, you'd encounter the "boyfriend" posts. I loved this man so much. I had myself convinced he was my person. My whole world. And in one phone call it was all shattered. The wall I built up around my heart to protect it has become and obstacle no one could even try to scale. I feel like there's no more chemistry out there. And that makes me cry.
For what it's worth, I'm still hopeful.
Good night for now. I have some hilarious stuff coming soon.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Per request...
Here's an update:
I really really really dislike a particular micu that's a dump for ENT. I will not go into the atrocious details, but suffice to say that many integral parts of the patients faces are missing. And trachs. Not just your standard LTAC-type either. Fresh, oozy, bulb suctions abound, and quite miserable (and insanely needy) looking trachs. I have been isolated in this particular ICU for the better part of two weeks and tonight was the last straw. Vent checks take 2x longer just because the sky is blue, and orders that should have been put days ago exist only in verbal order limbo. I know this ICU is short staffed, but holding a morbidly obese leg up for a foley placement wasn't exactly covered in my critical care classes. So. There comes a point where you just sigh, and say to yourself that it has to be done, and you need to do it because you are there, and no one else isn't. Even if it isn't in your job description.
I wish I had time to look at patients admitting papers. I wish I had time to look over their most recent labs. I wish I could have talked to the family members just a little longer so they knew what was happening to grandma. I wish my charting and charging systems weren't on completely different applications. But, the main point I take away from tonight, was that the care that I could provide to keep patients alive, was all I could afford to give tonight. I felt over-loaded to say the least, but an amazing co-worker was there to check on me periodically. I cannot even express the gratitude I have for this RT. He's an anomaly, and I could only aspire to be as smart, witty, balanced, humble and honest as he is. I'm very lucky to have such great friend.
They say that ICU delirium only affects patients...I disagree. I'm back to work on Saturday and I can only pray to little baby Jesus that I will have only floors. I need a break from critical care, although floors can turn into a perfect critical care mess in the turn of a corner.
But the crazy thing is that I love what I do. I like biology, and I like patient interaction. So, I will keep going, because I know I can recover on my day(s) off and come back fresh.
Enough of the work stuff. Here's some random thoughts I've had recently:
-I will never have beautiful legs. And I have no clue where the bruises come from
-I'm tired of dating, and just want to find my own puffin
-My house and dog are wonderful. I'm terrible at decorating though. And lawnmowers
-Trader Joe's kettle corn popcorn is crack cocaine
-It's been raining in Georgia for the. whole. entire. summer
-It does not impress me when boys have their shirts off at the climbing gym
-I need to change the title of this blog since I'm no longer a student
-Try not to get into serious discussions about bilevel/APRV when exceedingly tired
Enough for now. I need a bath and a few cuddles with my dog. Keep strong, my friends. I'm always around and I will try to be better about updating.
I really really really dislike a particular micu that's a dump for ENT. I will not go into the atrocious details, but suffice to say that many integral parts of the patients faces are missing. And trachs. Not just your standard LTAC-type either. Fresh, oozy, bulb suctions abound, and quite miserable (and insanely needy) looking trachs. I have been isolated in this particular ICU for the better part of two weeks and tonight was the last straw. Vent checks take 2x longer just because the sky is blue, and orders that should have been put days ago exist only in verbal order limbo. I know this ICU is short staffed, but holding a morbidly obese leg up for a foley placement wasn't exactly covered in my critical care classes. So. There comes a point where you just sigh, and say to yourself that it has to be done, and you need to do it because you are there, and no one else isn't. Even if it isn't in your job description.
I wish I had time to look at patients admitting papers. I wish I had time to look over their most recent labs. I wish I could have talked to the family members just a little longer so they knew what was happening to grandma. I wish my charting and charging systems weren't on completely different applications. But, the main point I take away from tonight, was that the care that I could provide to keep patients alive, was all I could afford to give tonight. I felt over-loaded to say the least, but an amazing co-worker was there to check on me periodically. I cannot even express the gratitude I have for this RT. He's an anomaly, and I could only aspire to be as smart, witty, balanced, humble and honest as he is. I'm very lucky to have such great friend.
They say that ICU delirium only affects patients...I disagree. I'm back to work on Saturday and I can only pray to little baby Jesus that I will have only floors. I need a break from critical care, although floors can turn into a perfect critical care mess in the turn of a corner.
But the crazy thing is that I love what I do. I like biology, and I like patient interaction. So, I will keep going, because I know I can recover on my day(s) off and come back fresh.
Enough of the work stuff. Here's some random thoughts I've had recently:
-I will never have beautiful legs. And I have no clue where the bruises come from
-I'm tired of dating, and just want to find my own puffin
-My house and dog are wonderful. I'm terrible at decorating though. And lawnmowers
-Trader Joe's kettle corn popcorn is crack cocaine
-It's been raining in Georgia for the. whole. entire. summer
-It does not impress me when boys have their shirts off at the climbing gym
-I need to change the title of this blog since I'm no longer a student
-Try not to get into serious discussions about bilevel/APRV when exceedingly tired
Enough for now. I need a bath and a few cuddles with my dog. Keep strong, my friends. I'm always around and I will try to be better about updating.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Keeping me awake
So. It's four am. I'm tired and it's not time for my last cup of coffee. Occasionally I'll sign up for these darn 16 hr shifts. You should have seen me earlier today. It was like I was a five year old begging not to have to take a bath when I had to leave to go to work. At least I can handle the 16 hr shift better when I don't know it is coming. Those random days I'll come into work at 3pm, thinking it's just a regular ole 8 hrs, and then there's a call out, and next thing you know I'm stocking up on redbull in the gift shop before it closes and holding on for 7am. They always say it's better if you don't know it's comin...
Four am seems to be the time that I start to get existential with my thoughts. Tonight I've generally been thinking about what it means to die gracefully. If you work in healthcare you know what I mean. Hospice vs. the full on code for an hour. Morphine vs. cracked ribs. Home comforts vs. crapping your bed minutes before you pass. I don't think it takes a genius to know where I stand on it, but yet, I'm still pushing tubes down 92 year old twigs and sticking an ailing man for serial ABGs because a new resident wants to have something to talk about at rounds tomorrow. Meh. I sound jaded. I know I do help some people every now and then. I think one of my biggest face-palms about this hospital is the ER. High rn turn over, docs I do not know very well, and a patient population as varied as any inner city hospital could be. I find it to be a very crude world, not to mention I'm the first one they call for ekgs. Monkeys can press buttons too.
But enough of that ole woe is me rant. Things could be way worse for me. I just have to make it through this weekend of work and I'm off on vacation. I shall not tell you where, as not to elicit any pangs of jealous this would undoubtedly cause you. You are most welcome.
Well. I see I've now killed forty five minutes. Now just to figure out what to do with the last two hours of work. I could go roam the hospital, but I'm le tired and I've noticed creepy individuals in certain staircases late at night. So I'll sign out for now, and maybe go have a chat with one of the hospitalists about Game of Thrones.
Four am seems to be the time that I start to get existential with my thoughts. Tonight I've generally been thinking about what it means to die gracefully. If you work in healthcare you know what I mean. Hospice vs. the full on code for an hour. Morphine vs. cracked ribs. Home comforts vs. crapping your bed minutes before you pass. I don't think it takes a genius to know where I stand on it, but yet, I'm still pushing tubes down 92 year old twigs and sticking an ailing man for serial ABGs because a new resident wants to have something to talk about at rounds tomorrow. Meh. I sound jaded. I know I do help some people every now and then. I think one of my biggest face-palms about this hospital is the ER. High rn turn over, docs I do not know very well, and a patient population as varied as any inner city hospital could be. I find it to be a very crude world, not to mention I'm the first one they call for ekgs. Monkeys can press buttons too.
But enough of that ole woe is me rant. Things could be way worse for me. I just have to make it through this weekend of work and I'm off on vacation. I shall not tell you where, as not to elicit any pangs of jealous this would undoubtedly cause you. You are most welcome.
Well. I see I've now killed forty five minutes. Now just to figure out what to do with the last two hours of work. I could go roam the hospital, but I'm le tired and I've noticed creepy individuals in certain staircases late at night. So I'll sign out for now, and maybe go have a chat with one of the hospitalists about Game of Thrones.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Chhhh ch ch ch changes
Turn and face the truth.
Well damn. Every time I log back into blogger they go and change the format and make me lose my bearings for a minute. It's ok, I've recovered.
I have some advice for the general public after working in a hospital for two years:
1. Don't drink Drano.
2. If you're going to develop a disease, go with ESRD. You get 9 lives.
3. There's no such thing as needle rape. You did tell me I could stick you for an ABG
4. You can over dose on Girl Scout cookies
5. I don't think your God(s) will save you. Medicine might. Maybe put faith in that.
6. Go to the gym. Quit smoking. Quit eating shitty food. Quit binge drinking (as I drink wine...)
Just a little humor for the fun people out there. Horray for a new post!!
June will make my second anniversary at.... that hospital that I work. It's been a wild ride so far and I just can't see myself moving anywhere else. It's had it's ups and downs, but ultimately I enjoy where I am. The friends I've made a long the way are absolutely priceless and I heart every one of them.
So work stuff aside, I just bought a new house. It's been absolutely fantastic to have a real home. I NEVER have to move again if I don't want to. It's basically adjacent to a big park here in Atlanta, and every week I've been running through said park, and eyeballing the Zoo that I will undoubtedly become a member of (mostly to stare at the otters).
Picked up rock climbing as a hobby. Scratch that. Obsession. It started so innocently. Oh, there's a fun thing to do with a boy. Ok, that boy sucks, but man I sure did have fun at the climbing gym. Wow those muscles hurt... It's a good distraction that keeps me focused on things outside of work and stress. I can listen to music and let myself go on a climb. I highly recommend it.
And that's right about where my life is right now. I'm finally coming into my adulthood without stressing about which direction to take. I'm doing what is making me happy and keeping me healthy. It's probably the first time in YEARS since I've been happy on a daily basis without it having to do with which relationship I'm in. So I'm celebrating that milestone by keeping with the trend and just being single.
Okay it's bed time. I have a date with my pillow and an early morning aimed at doing laundry, spray painting things, putting the hammock up on the porch, climbing gym, running and then packing my suit case for a fun snowboarding trip in a matter of days...
Well damn. Every time I log back into blogger they go and change the format and make me lose my bearings for a minute. It's ok, I've recovered.
I have some advice for the general public after working in a hospital for two years:
1. Don't drink Drano.
2. If you're going to develop a disease, go with ESRD. You get 9 lives.
3. There's no such thing as needle rape. You did tell me I could stick you for an ABG
4. You can over dose on Girl Scout cookies
5. I don't think your God(s) will save you. Medicine might. Maybe put faith in that.
6. Go to the gym. Quit smoking. Quit eating shitty food. Quit binge drinking (as I drink wine...)
Just a little humor for the fun people out there. Horray for a new post!!
June will make my second anniversary at.... that hospital that I work. It's been a wild ride so far and I just can't see myself moving anywhere else. It's had it's ups and downs, but ultimately I enjoy where I am. The friends I've made a long the way are absolutely priceless and I heart every one of them.
So work stuff aside, I just bought a new house. It's been absolutely fantastic to have a real home. I NEVER have to move again if I don't want to. It's basically adjacent to a big park here in Atlanta, and every week I've been running through said park, and eyeballing the Zoo that I will undoubtedly become a member of (mostly to stare at the otters).
Picked up rock climbing as a hobby. Scratch that. Obsession. It started so innocently. Oh, there's a fun thing to do with a boy. Ok, that boy sucks, but man I sure did have fun at the climbing gym. Wow those muscles hurt... It's a good distraction that keeps me focused on things outside of work and stress. I can listen to music and let myself go on a climb. I highly recommend it.
And that's right about where my life is right now. I'm finally coming into my adulthood without stressing about which direction to take. I'm doing what is making me happy and keeping me healthy. It's probably the first time in YEARS since I've been happy on a daily basis without it having to do with which relationship I'm in. So I'm celebrating that milestone by keeping with the trend and just being single.
Okay it's bed time. I have a date with my pillow and an early morning aimed at doing laundry, spray painting things, putting the hammock up on the porch, climbing gym, running and then packing my suit case for a fun snowboarding trip in a matter of days...
Monday, January 21, 2013
Oooof. Blogger just updated it's format and I'm a little disoriented.
Well we are now in a new year. Everyone rejoice for 2013! I hope everyone had a lovely slingshot through the holidays. I was pretty busy with work and getting ready to buy a house. I know, I know. I'm a real adult now. Shhh don't tell the 23 year old that still lives in my body.
Packing has been such a slow process. I'm mostly just trying to organize everything right now, but I'm sure it will just come down to a few days before I move with me throwing stuff in boxes and just hoping I remember where everything goes.
I just started rock climbing. It's helped a lot with my upper body strength. I'm still on a modified diet too, which has helped me maintain my goal weight of 120lbs. I really stopped eating meat all together and tend to stick to fruits and veggies. I have been horribly lazy at training for the half marathon too, so I expect I'll be walking most of it. Hah. At least with climbing I have been exposed to a new circle of people in the city. It has kept me occupied after splitting with the BF last fall.
Work has just been work. I've spent a good bit of time in the ER during this "winter." I don't mind it so much as long as I still get rotated to other ICU's too. I had a shit day at work last week where I did a billion useless breathing treatments, and the ONLY thing that I did to actually help a patient was get them a blanket out of the warmer. Seriously.
Anyway. So those are my updates for now. I'm dragging a little, so it's time for some coffee.
Well we are now in a new year. Everyone rejoice for 2013! I hope everyone had a lovely slingshot through the holidays. I was pretty busy with work and getting ready to buy a house. I know, I know. I'm a real adult now. Shhh don't tell the 23 year old that still lives in my body.
Packing has been such a slow process. I'm mostly just trying to organize everything right now, but I'm sure it will just come down to a few days before I move with me throwing stuff in boxes and just hoping I remember where everything goes.
I just started rock climbing. It's helped a lot with my upper body strength. I'm still on a modified diet too, which has helped me maintain my goal weight of 120lbs. I really stopped eating meat all together and tend to stick to fruits and veggies. I have been horribly lazy at training for the half marathon too, so I expect I'll be walking most of it. Hah. At least with climbing I have been exposed to a new circle of people in the city. It has kept me occupied after splitting with the BF last fall.
Work has just been work. I've spent a good bit of time in the ER during this "winter." I don't mind it so much as long as I still get rotated to other ICU's too. I had a shit day at work last week where I did a billion useless breathing treatments, and the ONLY thing that I did to actually help a patient was get them a blanket out of the warmer. Seriously.
Anyway. So those are my updates for now. I'm dragging a little, so it's time for some coffee.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Paper cuts/nine
OK.
Here I am four months later. Holidays are upon us. Thank goodness for the sling-shot into the next year.
Number one thing to remember the rest of your life in a hospital: If you have a cut on the tip of your dominant thumb, you will have a bad day. No amount of band-aids or tegaderm will be able to protect yourself from the burn of alcohol sanitizer in and out of each patient's room. Fact.
The only thing that can rival the pain from sanitizer is the SMELL of an inner city ER. Fact.
I promised updates from time to time, and here they are.
1. I've been enjoying my own adventure time outside the hospital. This provides much needed relief.
2. Training for half marathon in February. My friend made a good point in that training will bridge me to the newest episode of Walking Dead when it goes on hiatus next week.
3. Talking to myself, a whole lot. Also, going to Whole Foods and making the most immaculate salads possible. Spinach, strawberries, and a balsamic vinaigrette do wonders for your body.
4. Working. Seriously. Taking it minute by minute, day by day. Staircase by staircase. Working towards new skills, and brushing up on existing ones. I actually keep my Sills book in my work bag. Do yourself a favor and keep that book/reference handy for your boards. I do know they are coming up. Kettering tokens work wonders for the clin sims portion. PF ratio. Are you impressed? You should be, that's all I've got right now.
5. Three days until I turn twenty seven. I get heartburn even thinking about it. Also, a very real threat of age affecting my brain. Staying in the moment really helps with that. I find that being in the city really does allow me to be independent.
6. White girl whiskey wasted. Relates to post above. Pounds to twitter on birthday, except I don't tweet.
7. Saving up time off from work. 140 hrs as it stands.
8. "Me and God" The Avett Brothers/"What Sarah Said" Deathcab for Cutie. Songs I've listened way too much in the past few weeks. I really do believe that sometimes music is the best form of expression. Of course, at least for me.
9. Ballet + yoga will do amazing things for your gluts, that is, if you care.
So enough of lists.
I just wanted to talk a smidge about what makes up happiness. It seriously is what you make of it. The things that makes you giggle, smirk, or take a single second out of your hectic day to consider a positive moment in your existence. Some of the wisest people I've ever met, spoke of having great love within their families. I'll leave that to the breeders, for now.
I really can't believe over 4,000 people have read over my words. I just pray that my experience has helped push others in their efforts. Whether it be within respiratory, general craziness, or just to further your hatred for my whiny posts.
Thank you to all that have survived. If anything I have provided some what of comic/dumb/idiotic relief. Good night all.
Here I am four months later. Holidays are upon us. Thank goodness for the sling-shot into the next year.
Number one thing to remember the rest of your life in a hospital: If you have a cut on the tip of your dominant thumb, you will have a bad day. No amount of band-aids or tegaderm will be able to protect yourself from the burn of alcohol sanitizer in and out of each patient's room. Fact.
The only thing that can rival the pain from sanitizer is the SMELL of an inner city ER. Fact.
I promised updates from time to time, and here they are.
1. I've been enjoying my own adventure time outside the hospital. This provides much needed relief.
2. Training for half marathon in February. My friend made a good point in that training will bridge me to the newest episode of Walking Dead when it goes on hiatus next week.
3. Talking to myself, a whole lot. Also, going to Whole Foods and making the most immaculate salads possible. Spinach, strawberries, and a balsamic vinaigrette do wonders for your body.
4. Working. Seriously. Taking it minute by minute, day by day. Staircase by staircase. Working towards new skills, and brushing up on existing ones. I actually keep my Sills book in my work bag. Do yourself a favor and keep that book/reference handy for your boards. I do know they are coming up. Kettering tokens work wonders for the clin sims portion. PF ratio. Are you impressed? You should be, that's all I've got right now.
5. Three days until I turn twenty seven. I get heartburn even thinking about it. Also, a very real threat of age affecting my brain. Staying in the moment really helps with that. I find that being in the city really does allow me to be independent.
6. White girl whiskey wasted. Relates to post above. Pounds to twitter on birthday, except I don't tweet.
7. Saving up time off from work. 140 hrs as it stands.
8. "Me and God" The Avett Brothers/"What Sarah Said" Deathcab for Cutie. Songs I've listened way too much in the past few weeks. I really do believe that sometimes music is the best form of expression. Of course, at least for me.
9. Ballet + yoga will do amazing things for your gluts, that is, if you care.
So enough of lists.
I just wanted to talk a smidge about what makes up happiness. It seriously is what you make of it. The things that makes you giggle, smirk, or take a single second out of your hectic day to consider a positive moment in your existence. Some of the wisest people I've ever met, spoke of having great love within their families. I'll leave that to the breeders, for now.
I really can't believe over 4,000 people have read over my words. I just pray that my experience has helped push others in their efforts. Whether it be within respiratory, general craziness, or just to further your hatred for my whiny posts.
Thank you to all that have survived. If anything I have provided some what of comic/dumb/idiotic relief. Good night all.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
There and back again
Soooo. I knew when I posted a picture of myself that this blog was no longer annonymous. I didn't think it was relavent enough for any of my co-workers to stumble upon, but for the first time ever I had someone ask me about it the other day at work. I dont mind at all that he did (hi), but it does make me think back to all of the verbose long rambling posts that I wrote out of lonliness/anger/boredom.
I didn't ever want to completely shut the blog down, mostly because I didn't want to lose all the posts. But it's time that I take down a lot of stuff that's just too personal. So I'll be weeding through the blog pulling down some stuff & archiving it for myself. Eventually the whole thing will probably come down because I just don't spend any more time writing posts.
Anywho. I just celebrated my 1 year anniversary at my hospital. Yayh. Still dating same guy, and it's been just lovely. So overall things have been good. I'm planning on starting back school next year, but we will see. I might start sooner if I can get my mind set on exactly what I want to do.
Later alligators.
I didn't ever want to completely shut the blog down, mostly because I didn't want to lose all the posts. But it's time that I take down a lot of stuff that's just too personal. So I'll be weeding through the blog pulling down some stuff & archiving it for myself. Eventually the whole thing will probably come down because I just don't spend any more time writing posts.
Anywho. I just celebrated my 1 year anniversary at my hospital. Yayh. Still dating same guy, and it's been just lovely. So overall things have been good. I'm planning on starting back school next year, but we will see. I might start sooner if I can get my mind set on exactly what I want to do.
Later alligators.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
RRT to PA
Hi all. After spending an inordinate amount of time researching some stuff, and stumbling onto some good PA student blogs, I realized how utterly neglected this one is. I know I did say I'd update from time to time, so here goes.
It's been...almost 5 months since I've last posted, and things around the hospital are... busy. I can't quite convey just how much is expected of us sometimes. Some nights when I get home I can't help but fling myself into bed and not move a muscle until the next morning. Anywho. No one said working in a hospital is a breeze.
The rapport with the fellow co-workers has been getting easier, but I still gravitate to the younger therapists. It's also been somewhat of a task to work with RN's. I guess I didn't have much of a problem when I was a student, eager to do anything at a moments notice, but now that I have a full assignment it become increasingly hard to handle them treating me like a tech. It's been a process, and I'm still continuing to learn from it all.
My health care experience is still ever-growing. I'm mostly in the ICU's with a floor or two thrown in there. I finally took a full time position at the current hospital I'm at, and have absolutely no intent on leaving anytime soon. My days are still filled with vent checks and breathing treatments, but also an insane amount of critical care. I'm lucky to be in a place where the RTs are practically running codes.
So, to the topic of this post. Some people think it's silly that I have only been working in respiratory for a little over a year (counting some of my clinical rotations on this one), and have aspirations of going back to school. I can see their point, but I don't agree with it. We all know respiratory therapy has a ceiling, and after a few years of practicing you get the gist of it all. It will take a few years before I'm ready to even apply to physicians assistant school, but I plan on working full time all the way through the pre-reqs. I see it as a way to keep getting that valuable experience while still maintaining the goal of PA.
I'd much rather get finished with PA school before starting to plan a family, and that's been my main reasoning for starting back with class pretty soon after graduating. I could have done it earlier, but I wanted to wait at least a year before starting back. Good news is that most PA schools are great about accepting RTs into their programs. I've got a short list of ones I'm looking into right now (Mercer, MCG, Emory, MUSC etc.). I'd like to remain in Georgia, but I'm not opposed to moving if I'm accepted into a program out of state. I'll be sure to keep up a little dialog now and then on this whole journey of getting into a PA program. I tried searching in vein for a blog of any former RRT that went to PA school, but there's not a whole lot out there.
The personal life has been good. I finally feel comfortable in the relationship that I'm in (still the same guy I started to see before I went to France), and I see it going in a good direction. I'm just glad that both of us are insanely happy. That's the main thing to focus on. I'm probably going to be moving closer to the city in the fall. I tried the whole no roommate thing/living on my own and I got so bored/lonely fast. Im probably going to look for a living situation with a friend or two, because once I head back to school I'll be budgeting more carefully since I'm going to try and pay for it out of pocket for a while.
Anyway, I'm getting tired and I need to start working on dinner. Good night all, and I'm sure I'll be back sometime in the coming months with some updates.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
France and other things
So September came and left quite quickly. I feel like I didn't really get a good chance to enjoy my favorite month. It was just filled with moving, getting settled and making the trip over to Europe and back. I'm still drained a little. It's strange how you need a vacation when you get back from a vacation. I still have a lot of little things to do around the house to get fully moved in, and luckily I have the rest of this week off of work so I can really get down to it. That's funny to me, because currently I am laid up in bed with absolutely noooo intention of getting out of this comfortable mess of sheets until I really have to.
I have some good news and some bad news for you kids. The good news is that I spent A LOT of introspective time in France for myself. I broke down what really made me happy. I mean really made me happy. It came to me one day while sitting in Luxembourg park and just enjoying the day for all that it was. It was a highly emotional moment for me, that is so personal I'm kind of wondering why I feel like putting it on my blog. But, here it is, because I guess I just needed to tell a whole bunch of random strangers that probably don't care too much about my feelings anyway.
And that's where the bad news starts. I wrote a whole lot in my journal while on this trip, and I don't plan on stopping that anytime soon. It's uncensored, and I don't have to constantly worry about someone at work finding out (which lets be honest, some people that read this know who I am, and haven't said anything so far...), but I just don't want to have to keep looking over my shoulder. Or editing my potty mouth.
So I'm not officially closing the blog quite yet, but I thought long and hard about just letting it hang out on it's own for a while. Let it be inspiration for young RT students that wonder what it's like to get your life turned upside down by juggling class/clinical/personal life all while reaching towards that goal. That's mostly what I started writing on this blog for. I read a lot of the respiratory blogs out there that kept me a float when I thought things were bad for me. It kept me going, and I wanted to help in anyway that I could. There's also the student RT resume (that needs editing, I know, but the basic concept is there) that I'd like to leave up as an example for anyone that needs it.
Anyway. That's where we stand right now. My weird/funny/awkward sentiments about the career right now is just going to be written down somewhere else for the time being. I'll try to come back every few months and give little updates here and now.
Just to throw in some good news while all of you guys are weeping uncontrollably at the computer right now...
I did find someone special to love. It took a while to find him, but he's wonderful and fills my heart up. He's an upstanding guy that laughs and my stupid jokes and then turns around and has me cracking up too. He's compassionate, driven, and more importantly doesn't put any sort of conditions on who I am supposed to be. He likes me for me, not because i'm tough like dirty harry or can make him laugh like jim carey. And I'm so glad I found him once again.
Au revoir for now internets. I am putting a picture up of myself in France. I'm not so worried anymore if people know who I am, because if you work with me and read this blog, it's not so hard to figure the connection immediately. If you're wondering where I am in the pic, it's right over the bank on the lawn out behind Les Invalides (where Napoleon is buried).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)