On writing

... In tonight's program we will feature the amazing writing of The Dirty Poet in, Emergency Room Wrestling.

"i stick in a nasal trumpet
i stick in an oral airway
i stick a suction catheter up his nose
triggering a vast bubble of yellow bile out his mouth
step back! i shoutthe room screams"

I haven't finished it all quite yet. I don't want it to end. A page a day. Such a good think in moderation. 

I've written a lot of poetry before. Some of it I've let fall away into the back of my mind, but this book had kind of made me want to try my hand at it again. I think writing is quite possibly the only thing that has saved me time in and time out in my life. It's most poignant when I'm travelling. Or, I should say when I have enough free time to be alone and be compelled to pick the pen or laptop.

Well. Work is changing. I'll report more on the through analysis in coming weeks. 

I'm so. so. so. so VERY tired of dating. I know I've said it once, but it needs to be repeated. My personal life hasn't been much discussed here recently. I guess it just changes so often. For now, single is what I will be. I  just can't keep forcing anything that isn't right. If you roam back to the ancient times of this-blog-past, you'd encounter the "boyfriend" posts. I loved this man so much. I had myself convinced he was my person. My whole world. And in one phone call it was all shattered. The wall I built up around my heart to protect it has become and obstacle no one could even try to scale. I feel like there's no more chemistry out there. And that makes me cry. 

For what it's worth, I'm still hopeful.

Good night for now. I have some hilarious stuff coming soon. 

Per request...

Here's an update:

I really really really dislike a particular micu that's a dump for ENT. I will not go into the atrocious details, but suffice to say that many integral parts of the patients faces are missing. And trachs. Not just your standard LTAC-type either. Fresh, oozy, bulb suctions abound, and quite miserable (and insanely needy) looking trachs. I have been isolated in this particular ICU for the better part of two weeks and tonight was the last straw. Vent checks take 2x longer just because the sky is blue, and orders that should have been put days ago exist only in verbal order limbo. I know this ICU is short staffed, but holding a morbidly obese leg up for a foley placement wasn't exactly covered in my critical care classes. So. There comes a point where you just sigh, and say to yourself that it has to be done, and you need to do it because you are there, and no one else isn't. Even if it isn't in your job description.

I wish I had time to look at patients admitting papers. I wish I had time to look over their most recent labs. I wish I could have talked to the family members just a little longer so they knew what was happening to grandma. I wish my charting and charging systems weren't on completely different applications. But, the main point I take away from tonight, was that the care that I could provide to keep patients alive, was all I could afford to give tonight.  I felt over-loaded to say the least, but an amazing co-worker was there to check on me periodically. I cannot even express the gratitude I have for this RT. He's an anomaly, and I could only aspire to be as smart, witty, balanced, humble and honest as he is. I'm very lucky to have such great friend.

They say that ICU delirium only affects patients...I disagree. I'm back to work on Saturday and I can only pray to little baby Jesus that I will have only floors. I need a break from critical care, although floors can turn into a perfect critical care mess in the turn of a corner.

But the crazy thing is that I love what I do. I like biology, and I like patient interaction. So, I will keep going, because I know I can recover on my day(s) off and come back fresh.

Enough of the work stuff. Here's some random thoughts I've had recently:
-I will never have beautiful legs. And I have no clue where the bruises come from
-I'm tired of dating, and just want to find my own puffin
-My house and dog are wonderful. I'm terrible at decorating though. And lawnmowers
-Trader Joe's kettle corn popcorn is crack cocaine
-It's been raining in Georgia for the. whole. entire. summer
-It does not impress me when boys have their shirts off at the climbing gym
-I need to change the title of this blog since I'm no longer a student
-Try not to get into serious discussions about bilevel/APRV when exceedingly tired


Enough for now. I need a bath and a few cuddles with my dog. Keep strong, my friends. I'm always around and I will try to be better about updating.