So. It's four am. I'm tired and it's not time for my last cup of coffee. Occasionally I'll sign up for these darn 16 hr shifts. You should have seen me earlier today. It was like I was a five year old begging not to have to take a bath when I had to leave to go to work. At least I can handle the 16 hr shift better when I don't know it is coming. Those random days I'll come into work at 3pm, thinking it's just a regular ole 8 hrs, and then there's a call out, and next thing you know I'm stocking up on redbull in the gift shop before it closes and holding on for 7am. They always say it's better if you don't know it's comin...
Four am seems to be the time that I start to get existential with my thoughts. Tonight I've generally been thinking about what it means to die gracefully. If you work in healthcare you know what I mean. Hospice vs. the full on code for an hour. Morphine vs. cracked ribs. Home comforts vs. crapping your bed minutes before you pass. I don't think it takes a genius to know where I stand on it, but yet, I'm still pushing tubes down 92 year old twigs and sticking an ailing man for serial ABGs because a new resident wants to have something to talk about at rounds tomorrow. Meh. I sound jaded. I know I do help some people every now and then. I think one of my biggest face-palms about this hospital is the ER. High rn turn over, docs I do not know very well, and a patient population as varied as any inner city hospital could be. I find it to be a very crude world, not to mention I'm the first one they call for ekgs. Monkeys can press buttons too.
But enough of that ole woe is me rant. Things could be way worse for me. I just have to make it through this weekend of work and I'm off on vacation. I shall not tell you where, as not to elicit any pangs of jealous this would undoubtedly cause you. You are most welcome.
Well. I see I've now killed forty five minutes. Now just to figure out what to do with the last two hours of work. I could go roam the hospital, but I'm le tired and I've noticed creepy individuals in certain staircases late at night. So I'll sign out for now, and maybe go have a chat with one of the hospitalists about Game of Thrones.
