Wednesday, December 10, 2014

...It's been awhile

I know, I know. It's been ages. This is just that time of year where the whole hospital is on diversion and staffing is depleted because, SURPRISE, everyone gets sick from being over worked, and oh yeah, working with sick people. Moral is borderline through this time of year to say the least, so why not work all the holidays too!

Bright side is that I got engaged! I finally caught a boy! Time to break out the ball and chain I've been hiding in my closet and secure it firmly to his ankle. Hah. He prob doesn't quite find this as humorous as I do. I now have a pinterest problem that is borderline unhealthy, but sooo much fun until I get the calculator out and adding up costs of a wedding.

Since the last post was the most depressing thing I've ever dealt with at the hospital I will do all of us a favor and write some funny/dumb things I've encountered lately.

Here's a good one from today. Back-story: I was working in a post-op CT surgery icu (open hearts etc) admitting patients/running around doing a million things at once. We have a set protocol for vent settings/weaning/extubating these patients (so variations on vent settings have to be ordered). I was admitting a straightforward case this afternoon w/ the RN and a bright and shining NP student was bagging while I got the vent ready...

Baby NP: Did you get my settings?
Me: Yeah (they were written on report sheet).
Baby NP: Well, I have the peep at 8.
Me: Okay. Because they are bleeding?
Baby NP: No, I don't think so. Wait. Let me check. Just go ahead and change it.
Me: Did you have oxygenation issues in the OR?
Baby NP: No. Are you going to change the peep now? Well, let me just do it for you.
Me: Nooooope. (at this point I'm annoyed and not entirely sure she knows what peep really does, and I go stand in front of the vent and write down some numbers).
Anesthesia fellow: Well, Baby NP, what's your reasoning behind higher peep right now? (we are all now trying to figure out rational).
Baby NP: I am just following evidence based medicine.
Me: Which paper are you referencing?
Baby NP: ....uuuuh...
Attending: Okay, Baby NP, why don't you go make copies of the report sheet for everyone (a fools errand bc 1. we all have sheets anyway and 2. good luck finding our copy machine password).

As soon as they walk out of the room in search of the impossible copier we bust out in uncontrollable laughter. Attending for the score!Lesson: Don't be a cocky student. And DEFINITELY don't be a cocky student that has no idea what they are talking about. The rest of the day all the doctors asked me to turn up the peep on non-intubated patients. We laughed, but in reality the scary thing is that at some point that NP will be taking care of really sick people. Hopefully the Baby NP will find some humility soon...

Fibromyalgia. I added that one onto the list of patients that I don't trust (along side of patients with multiple multiple allergies to things like gluten, Ibprofen, tylenol, ultram, cilantro, and all kinds of tape). I think it's the perfect diagnosis for hypochondriacs. Juuuust an observation.

Anywho. Bedtime for this lady. More fun awaits me in the morning.




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