Oh. So you can turn off a ventilator (and subsequently a brain/person...but let's not get so philosophical now) in a second... so why is it 1 a.m. and I still can't turn my brain off? Oh yeah, irony.
I think we all have a limit of bullshit we will put up with. I guess I just hit the wall today. Hard. My left eye has been twitching constantly for the last 7 hrs. And you know what? The only thing that made it stop was a heavy pour of red, red, wine. There's your advice for the evening. If you are considering a career in RT, please keep in mind you might become an alcoholic if every day in the hospital turns into the one I had today. I think I drank most of my caloric intake today based on that I had a 20 minute break once in a 12 hr shift. I was lucky for even that.
I really don't see how women can work full time, keep a house in check, kids alive, food on table, schedules organized, shower/grooming, and still have time to turn their brains off/sleep at the end of the day. It takes me forever to unwind and all I have to worry about is a job, a dog, and a house. I think I could do a better job at allocating time and energy for projects around the house, but seriously my backyard it out of control. Yard work is not one of my stronger characteristics, and it has basically rained all summer in GA. I have had such a lovely time trying to get the outside weeds/responsibilities under control. My neighbors really don't help, either. I've gotten passive aggressive messages from both of them (to the left and right) and I swear, if they even try to question my methods after I spent 10 hrs out there on Sunday I will just tell them to go call the yard police. I need a cabana boy/toy/man-that-knows-yard stuff/looks good with a shirt off...I'll stop there.
I really don't like pulling the I-work-in-critical-care-and-have-lives-on-the-line card when I need space, but sometimes you just throw that one down to keep you in the game of poker. They will never know if you are bluffing (most evidently if they aren't in healthcare). Just mumble something about blood pressure being too low, abg kits that you started with have all been used, poop/smells, tracheal stenosis caused by trach x2 history and they are in resp distress, a lactate that's on par of the number of socks I wear in a month, mini BAL with no sedation orders, maxed pressors, a nurse that calls you constantly for a vent alarm that is only correlated to lack of sedation, no of full o2 tanks on the transport vent with a crit pt with 100% and 15+ peep, and no help when you could really use it. Some of that's true, some of that's false. Poker face, prn.
I donated platelets last week for the first time. If you have some form of ADD I would suggest that you never do this. It basically amounts to laying both arms out, palms up with two non-disposable 18 gauge needles in both arms (that will ruin your world if you bend your elbow at any time), and a superb attention span to watch your IV bag fill up with plasma. I guess the upside is that you have 2 hrs of uninterrupted time to watch a movie, and have someone at your call to scratch a mosquito bite on your ankle. I take what I can get.
I have my annual competency review tomorrow first thing.
And that's when I call it. Good night all. Listen to the song, Breathe Me by Sia.
