Um. I'm over this quarter. I've been over it for the last three weeks. I'm kind of looking forward to my break, and to go to San Fran for a few days. But alas, I even have to study while I'm on break, because the first day I come back Dr. Jolly will slap us with a big fat pharmacology test. Not just any kind of pharmacology test, but a really really gnarly one. Sigh. Just more shit to think about.
Student loans are giving me a fucking headache. I really am very very very tired of dealing with the financial aid office. I'm almost resigned to throwing a Molotov cocktail in there and letting the whole institution burn down, that way I no longer have to deal with them. I'm getting fairly close to just asking my parents for a loan which would mean I'd no longer have to deal with the fucking idiots that inhabit the business office. Alright. Enough about that terrible terrible mess.
I don't want to study today. All I really want to do is plop myself on the couch and watch awesome movies all day. That would be a nice day, but no, I'm going to pack up my notes, and walk my ass down to the club room to study. Waaaahooooo. Later kids
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
home on the range
K. Everything's alright on the home front. I filled the mental break down quota for a few months. I also took this weekend off of studying, and just relaxed and made some time for myself. I took today off of school, and hopefully the time away from the books will have given me the little bounce back that I'll need at the end of this quarter. So, I just need to convert from relaxation mode to study mode now. Coffee is somewhat helping to fix that gap... just need some will power added into the mix :)
I think I'm going to see a therapist starting this week to help with some stuff. I've been to one before, but only for short periods of time. I'm going to go with boyfriend to help resolve issues, and I'm thinking that it should really help. Most important thing is that we can communicate better with each other. I definitely think that will help with our relationship. I have to work on my self esteem issues too. Fun stuff indeed.
Ok, so now a completely different tangent I need to discuss. Lost finale last night. Sigh. It's really over? That's all I said last night, "oh my gah I can't believe this is the last episode, EVAH". And then everyone told me to shut it. I have to write my rambling thoughts somewhere, so why not here and now? (just go ahead and skip this paragraph if you don't want to know the spoilers or don't care about Lost as much as I do)
1. I really did like the final episode. Some things could have been stronger, but over all, I liked the direction that it took. I'm a sap, and really wanted Jack and Kate to be together forever, and well lookey lookey, they sure did :)
2. I called Jack getting offed and Hurley taking his place. That was cool, Hurley is def a great replacement for Jacob, and it toats makes sense that Ben is the new number two.
3. Kate + Jack on the cliff = omfg I've been waiting for this moment for sooo long!! Yes I love you too Jack!!
4. Sideways time like was TOO good to be true, so it only makes sense that it was imagined. Even if it was imagined, it was still a nice way to put them all together in the end of the show, and the end of their lives.
I think most girls will agree that they liked this finale. No one is ever going to be 100% satisfied with the way that it went down, and here are just two of my major gripes:
1. Major things didn't really get explained, such as the fertility thing, and why Walt was so special. I guess the whole fertility thing was a problem bc the "light of life" was on the island and anyone born from conception on the island was interfering with the light? Who knows.
2. I wasn't screaming and jumping up and down when the mib died. We never found out his name either.
Oh well. All my freaking shows are on summer hiatus now, and I've got to watch The Bachelorette to kill time until fall! I think i will buy the Lost dvd set once it comes out, because at some point I will catch the flu and want to hole up with a good series :)
I guess I'm going to get back into the study mode. The quarter's end is in sight! I'm going to take a mini vacation to San Fran with some friends during my break, and I'm pretty excited about that. Then there's the France/Spain/Amsterdam trip in September. Looks like this year is going to be a good travel year. Adieu kids
I think I'm going to see a therapist starting this week to help with some stuff. I've been to one before, but only for short periods of time. I'm going to go with boyfriend to help resolve issues, and I'm thinking that it should really help. Most important thing is that we can communicate better with each other. I definitely think that will help with our relationship. I have to work on my self esteem issues too. Fun stuff indeed.
Ok, so now a completely different tangent I need to discuss. Lost finale last night. Sigh. It's really over? That's all I said last night, "oh my gah I can't believe this is the last episode, EVAH". And then everyone told me to shut it. I have to write my rambling thoughts somewhere, so why not here and now? (just go ahead and skip this paragraph if you don't want to know the spoilers or don't care about Lost as much as I do)
1. I really did like the final episode. Some things could have been stronger, but over all, I liked the direction that it took. I'm a sap, and really wanted Jack and Kate to be together forever, and well lookey lookey, they sure did :)
2. I called Jack getting offed and Hurley taking his place. That was cool, Hurley is def a great replacement for Jacob, and it toats makes sense that Ben is the new number two.
3. Kate + Jack on the cliff = omfg I've been waiting for this moment for sooo long!! Yes I love you too Jack!!
4. Sideways time like was TOO good to be true, so it only makes sense that it was imagined. Even if it was imagined, it was still a nice way to put them all together in the end of the show, and the end of their lives.
I think most girls will agree that they liked this finale. No one is ever going to be 100% satisfied with the way that it went down, and here are just two of my major gripes:
1. Major things didn't really get explained, such as the fertility thing, and why Walt was so special. I guess the whole fertility thing was a problem bc the "light of life" was on the island and anyone born from conception on the island was interfering with the light? Who knows.
2. I wasn't screaming and jumping up and down when the mib died. We never found out his name either.
Oh well. All my freaking shows are on summer hiatus now, and I've got to watch The Bachelorette to kill time until fall! I think i will buy the Lost dvd set once it comes out, because at some point I will catch the flu and want to hole up with a good series :)
I guess I'm going to get back into the study mode. The quarter's end is in sight! I'm going to take a mini vacation to San Fran with some friends during my break, and I'm pretty excited about that. Then there's the France/Spain/Amsterdam trip in September. Looks like this year is going to be a good travel year. Adieu kids
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
life sucks sometimes
Life just sucks sometimes. It's just the way it is. I'll go through periods where I'm having wonderfully awesome months, and then times where I just want to press the restart button. I have a tendency to quit things once they get hard, and I'm slowly learning that it's not such a great way to go through life. Everyone needs hard periods in their lives to make them stronger.
That being said, the next two weeks are going to suck it, hard. Finals are in about two weeks, withstanding that the professor finishes a bit early (like he said would prob happen). I have a test tomorrow, and then the rest of the info we learn will be present on the finals. It's looking like I'll get a B in cardiopulm a&p, and an A in Pharmacology. I'm kind of sad about that B, but at least I've proven to myself that I'm a good student.
Things are undoubtedly going to get harder and harder. I need to know that I have support at home. It's hard to study and stay on track when there are emotional issues in my life. I'll make it through. I just have to keep my attitude positive, and try and make it a fun experience.
I'm gonna go watch me some Glee, and Lost now. :)
That being said, the next two weeks are going to suck it, hard. Finals are in about two weeks, withstanding that the professor finishes a bit early (like he said would prob happen). I have a test tomorrow, and then the rest of the info we learn will be present on the finals. It's looking like I'll get a B in cardiopulm a&p, and an A in Pharmacology. I'm kind of sad about that B, but at least I've proven to myself that I'm a good student.
Things are undoubtedly going to get harder and harder. I need to know that I have support at home. It's hard to study and stay on track when there are emotional issues in my life. I'll make it through. I just have to keep my attitude positive, and try and make it a fun experience.
I'm gonna go watch me some Glee, and Lost now. :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Pt. 2
So, I didn't do quite as much studying as I hoped to do, but I'll deal with the repercussions in the morning when I'm staring into the deep darkness that is the multiple multiple choice question. Let's see if I can name out all the shitty shit that's on this test: ABG interpretations, Co2 transport, O2 transport, Innervation of ventilation, ALL shunts you can possible think of, types of hypoxemia, Alveolar air equations, Ca02 equation etc, Shunt equation, annnnnd he will probably throw in some stuff on 02 sat curve shifts. Blah. I guess that means I'll be waking up early to go over more notes tomorrow.
This post really isn't about the test though. I can't sleep because I've got shit on my mind. It's annoying shit that I've been over time and time again with boyfriend. It boils down to that we've been together for three years and I don't think he's ready to get married, or move in that direction. We can talk all day about what it will be like when we're married, and all that jazz, but the simple fact of the matter is that he knows it's important to me, and yet, it hasn't happened.
I hear it all the time from family and friends, "So, when's it gonna be..." and I'm tired of feeling like there's something wrong with me for not being engaged right now. I'm only 24, I keep telling myself. But it's tiring, and I feel like there's a part of me that feels like I'm not special enough to be his wife. Everything's hunky dory when we play house, but I don't want to be the one that keeps bringing up getting engaged.
I wish I could blame it on one thing, but it's really more of a clusterfuck of issues that girls deal with on a daily basis. Watching The Little Mermaid over and over and over again also doesn't help five year old little girls build up a realistic image of marriage either.
I just took the longest sigh in the world. I can be such a petty child sometimes. I go through days where all I can think of is being able to call myself Mrs. Wife, and then there are times when I talk to my cousin and she puts me back into a realistic perspective. I hear her voice, and then think about how most marriages fail, and how people change. I'm trying to keep her voice steady in my head when I feel like this. It's hard though. Hard, especially for me, because I do have a low self esteem most of the time, and don't feel like I'm worth very much. It just doesn't help much with the whole situation, it makes me feel like I'm unwanted, which I know isn't true, but it's still looming. Yeah. Great things to think about as you go to bed. I'll probably dream of a gigantic toilet that I get flushed down, oh wait, that was last night's dream.
Well. Bed time.
This post really isn't about the test though. I can't sleep because I've got shit on my mind. It's annoying shit that I've been over time and time again with boyfriend. It boils down to that we've been together for three years and I don't think he's ready to get married, or move in that direction. We can talk all day about what it will be like when we're married, and all that jazz, but the simple fact of the matter is that he knows it's important to me, and yet, it hasn't happened.
I hear it all the time from family and friends, "So, when's it gonna be..." and I'm tired of feeling like there's something wrong with me for not being engaged right now. I'm only 24, I keep telling myself. But it's tiring, and I feel like there's a part of me that feels like I'm not special enough to be his wife. Everything's hunky dory when we play house, but I don't want to be the one that keeps bringing up getting engaged.
I wish I could blame it on one thing, but it's really more of a clusterfuck of issues that girls deal with on a daily basis. Watching The Little Mermaid over and over and over again also doesn't help five year old little girls build up a realistic image of marriage either.
I just took the longest sigh in the world. I can be such a petty child sometimes. I go through days where all I can think of is being able to call myself Mrs. Wife, and then there are times when I talk to my cousin and she puts me back into a realistic perspective. I hear her voice, and then think about how most marriages fail, and how people change. I'm trying to keep her voice steady in my head when I feel like this. It's hard though. Hard, especially for me, because I do have a low self esteem most of the time, and don't feel like I'm worth very much. It just doesn't help much with the whole situation, it makes me feel like I'm unwanted, which I know isn't true, but it's still looming. Yeah. Great things to think about as you go to bed. I'll probably dream of a gigantic toilet that I get flushed down, oh wait, that was last night's dream.
Well. Bed time.
Bunday is for bunburying
If you can catch the two different references in the title of the post I will be your best friend forever. Seriously.
Anyway. It's Sunday is Atlanta, and I'm trying to keep studying for another CP anatomy and physiology test. I'm really going to try and do my best, but if it turns out to be in the form of a B instead of an A, then I won't resort to crying in a corner somewhere, I promise. I really just strive to understand the information that he's teaching us instead of worrying about how he's going to ask the questions. I loathe his multiple choice questions, because they are multiple multiple choices, and I think he could rephrase some of the questions better... Yeah, so there, I'm done with my bitching about his tests. I don't like them, period. At least I have one more AP test, and then the gigantic final that will most likely destroy all self-confidence in myself.
Pharma really isn't that bad. It's just a lot of memorization and keeping things organized in my brain. I have another test on Thursday. Woo freakin hoo.
A semi-friend of mine contacted me on fay boo the other day. She was in my first anatomy and physiology class, and didn't make it through (I think she failed the first time around). Anyway, whether she dropped it or failed it, I have no idea. Granted, she went through a divorce during the class, so I figured she'd recover and be in the program with all of us. From what I could tell she struggled a lot with the other classes, and didn't make it to the program deadline. Ok, so back to the point of the story, she said that she got accepted to GSU's rt program and was asking me about the campus and stuff. I was kind of speechless for a minute, because I figured that the program at gsu was more choosy with the applicants. Who knows, but anyway, she said that she was excited bc she will see us at clinical and stuff. Though, I'm not sure how that's gonna work because she will be graduating a year after us. Perhaps she will start clinicals as we are coming out, Idk. I'll prob end up finishing a bachelors degree at gsu, so maybe I'll see her there.
I'm getting a bit annoyed with my AP book on the P(A-a) gradient. They are giving me examples but the numbers don't match up. I'll ask my professor. So, here's just a few tidbits of wonderful RT knowledge thrown your way: Normal A-a gradient at room air is 7-14mmhg, at 100% o2 it's 50-60mmhg. If the A-a gradient is increase, then shunting is increased :)
Ok, I got my 15 minute break in. I'll update later on the test scores and how my sanity is holding up. Laaaater
Btw, the two references were 1. Bunday= Sunday on cuteoverload.com where they have pictures and videos of cute bunnies. I heart bunnies. 2. Bunburying is a reference to The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. I love Oscar Wilde. Yep. OK, back to work
Anyway. It's Sunday is Atlanta, and I'm trying to keep studying for another CP anatomy and physiology test. I'm really going to try and do my best, but if it turns out to be in the form of a B instead of an A, then I won't resort to crying in a corner somewhere, I promise. I really just strive to understand the information that he's teaching us instead of worrying about how he's going to ask the questions. I loathe his multiple choice questions, because they are multiple multiple choices, and I think he could rephrase some of the questions better... Yeah, so there, I'm done with my bitching about his tests. I don't like them, period. At least I have one more AP test, and then the gigantic final that will most likely destroy all self-confidence in myself.
Pharma really isn't that bad. It's just a lot of memorization and keeping things organized in my brain. I have another test on Thursday. Woo freakin hoo.
A semi-friend of mine contacted me on fay boo the other day. She was in my first anatomy and physiology class, and didn't make it through (I think she failed the first time around). Anyway, whether she dropped it or failed it, I have no idea. Granted, she went through a divorce during the class, so I figured she'd recover and be in the program with all of us. From what I could tell she struggled a lot with the other classes, and didn't make it to the program deadline. Ok, so back to the point of the story, she said that she got accepted to GSU's rt program and was asking me about the campus and stuff. I was kind of speechless for a minute, because I figured that the program at gsu was more choosy with the applicants. Who knows, but anyway, she said that she was excited bc she will see us at clinical and stuff. Though, I'm not sure how that's gonna work because she will be graduating a year after us. Perhaps she will start clinicals as we are coming out, Idk. I'll prob end up finishing a bachelors degree at gsu, so maybe I'll see her there.
I'm getting a bit annoyed with my AP book on the P(A-a) gradient. They are giving me examples but the numbers don't match up. I'll ask my professor. So, here's just a few tidbits of wonderful RT knowledge thrown your way: Normal A-a gradient at room air is 7-14mmhg, at 100% o2 it's 50-60mmhg. If the A-a gradient is increase, then shunting is increased :)
Ok, I got my 15 minute break in. I'll update later on the test scores and how my sanity is holding up. Laaaater
Btw, the two references were 1. Bunday= Sunday on cuteoverload.com where they have pictures and videos of cute bunnies. I heart bunnies. 2. Bunburying is a reference to The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. I love Oscar Wilde. Yep. OK, back to work
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
a bit of this, a bit of that
It's officially half way through the first quarter, and I'm wondering why people like quarters better than semesters. I went from allll semesters schools (High school + GSU) to alll quarter school (presently enrolled). Yes, quarters are shorter than semesters, but you have WAY less time to learn the same amount of information. I guess in some ways it just makes me study hard and fast, so I suppose it's not necessarily a bad thing, annoying for sure though.
With the dawn of mid-quarter came much discussion on clinicals. My hope is to get Emory Midtown, Dekalb Medical, and Northside Forsyth (but for some reason my school is telling me that they are in the process of reaffiliation w/ them, so it's looking like I probably won't get it). Anywho. I thought I wanted to try peds, but apparently there is a lot of ppl in my class that want those hospitals for clinical, so I'm just probably going to back off of it. The most important thing is that I get clinical in Emory Midtown because 1. It's a teaching hospital (Emory University) 2. It's less than 8 blocks from where I live. 3. Getting placed at Emory Midtown means that you either are smart, or bribed the professor with food.
Sooo, the clinical director came into our class yesterday to gather our home addresses so he could start thinking about where to place us. We haven't had him as a professor yet, it's just been Shawty (Program director) teaching us. The clinical director is a hard ass, and doesn't deal with stupid people very well (as far as I can tell). My only run in with him was when I came to speak to someone at our school when I first got interested in RT. He was weird, very very weird, but after setting aside his aversion to social norms, I realized that this guy is very smart and can teach us a lot. I think I'm going to call him Jolly, because he's anything but that.
Back to the story, Jolly came into our "newbie" class to scare the bejesus out of all of us. He said that on day 1 of the next quarter he will give us a test for pharmacology drugs that is 10 questions, and that no one can get into clinicals without passing it. Apparently most people don't pass it on the first try. At least he gives you two chances to pass it. I'm slightly worried, but as long as I keep reviewing the drugs over and over and over while we are on break, I shouldn't be too bad. Anyway, I'm kind of frightened of him, but not enough for him to use it to his advantage.
OOOK, well enough of rambling. I'm going to get back to the Hb saturation curve. It's going to be SO much fun!!! Yayh for spending all day Friday studying!!!
With the dawn of mid-quarter came much discussion on clinicals. My hope is to get Emory Midtown, Dekalb Medical, and Northside Forsyth (but for some reason my school is telling me that they are in the process of reaffiliation w/ them, so it's looking like I probably won't get it). Anywho. I thought I wanted to try peds, but apparently there is a lot of ppl in my class that want those hospitals for clinical, so I'm just probably going to back off of it. The most important thing is that I get clinical in Emory Midtown because 1. It's a teaching hospital (Emory University) 2. It's less than 8 blocks from where I live. 3. Getting placed at Emory Midtown means that you either are smart, or bribed the professor with food.
Sooo, the clinical director came into our class yesterday to gather our home addresses so he could start thinking about where to place us. We haven't had him as a professor yet, it's just been Shawty (Program director) teaching us. The clinical director is a hard ass, and doesn't deal with stupid people very well (as far as I can tell). My only run in with him was when I came to speak to someone at our school when I first got interested in RT. He was weird, very very weird, but after setting aside his aversion to social norms, I realized that this guy is very smart and can teach us a lot. I think I'm going to call him Jolly, because he's anything but that.
Back to the story, Jolly came into our "newbie" class to scare the bejesus out of all of us. He said that on day 1 of the next quarter he will give us a test for pharmacology drugs that is 10 questions, and that no one can get into clinicals without passing it. Apparently most people don't pass it on the first try. At least he gives you two chances to pass it. I'm slightly worried, but as long as I keep reviewing the drugs over and over and over while we are on break, I shouldn't be too bad. Anyway, I'm kind of frightened of him, but not enough for him to use it to his advantage.
OOOK, well enough of rambling. I'm going to get back to the Hb saturation curve. It's going to be SO much fun!!! Yayh for spending all day Friday studying!!!
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